ITS TIME FOR A REVOLUSION

i really hate myself

2010-06-11T21:58:00.001+08:00

god damn son of a bitch!the past 4 days i was in bed constantly fighting for my life for some reasons.and i realli had a goood thought about my life.i fucking hate my past.i realli realli hate it.walking around in groups,doing things that are 'cool' and such shit.i fuckin regret.i was goin thru this fb pics and saw this. boy who was about 13 or 14 but was having a birthdae celebration with all his members it seems.its all not true.there will come a time where he will realise all the people are not true.and i did not cherish the person 4 years ago when she told me to leave everything.now she is gone iwthout a trace and dust,i fuckin regret every single thing i did in the past.but i cant change any damn thing now.i dunno how to face anyone whom i have hurt in th past.sometimes now i wish i become like that,have a fuck care attitude and all,but i just cannot.i have started to think and realise that all these is not going to bring me nowhere.but as they say no point crying over spilt milk,every fucking day is like a constant fear where i will meet someone in the past and a small talk with them will dgar me back to them again.i do not want to do any of these shit anymore.these few months,after the incident happened,thats when i started to think if i was not a good human at all...i just dunno..i regret.realli regret.all i need is one chance.i never know if i can ever get the one chance.but me and my brother rafiq are both regretting and it is because of one heartbreak we had in the past that made us like that now.just when i tot i found a rite one,life proved me it is not a bed of roses.deep outside i smile.but deep inside,it hurts truely hurts.no one hurt me more.may be i should have just kept quiet and shut the hell up about the dirty past.forget it.i just wish for all to be happy.sorry i realli needed to get this off my chest.not intended for anyone.and elliot*a special thanks for keeping an eye on her.never expected you.thanks bro.

realli its time....

2010-05-17T01:27:00.002+08:00

too tired to blog nowdays.have been coughing my lungs out.everyone has been asking me why have i changed so much and all when i dont feel anything.at least i pretend not to knoe.i am living in dreams and whenever ppl ask me to wake up i say no.i do not want to wake up.everything is being a routine.2 weeks school holidays.lucki there is sports camp and then i am workin all the way.no rest.i do not wana rest.i just wana tire myself,exhaust and then be too tired to think.driving has been a irritating thing where test is concerned.has talked to the owner for buying bike.but was thinking of changing bike cause will definately take outt a bigger bike when i get my class 2?so now have to save money.then putting aside for car also.planning for swift.but dunno.told coach i do not wana be part of security crew in YOG anymore.withdraw my name.too much of a hazzle for the trainings with police and all.....training has been goin fine.coach told me that if i cant be myself then no point comin back cause i have softened...i think after dec tournament will give up boxing.....how long am i goin to be involved in high contact sports...?given the nonsense i think its best i leave it.gotta study properly....trying to switch my life to an 19 years old poly student.never gona get involved in chit like i did cause i realised thats wat that made me into this state.thanks god...

st gabriels boys

2010-05-10T18:28:00.004+08:00

i will never forget this day.the things that happened and how we supported each other(:
chandra,jian sheng,cheng yang,chee wee,me,wayne,jason riswan,faisal,koon chow,vicky.(:

its been a while since i left sec school and i miss it alot.like seriously if anyone gives me a chance for me to stay in poly or go back,i will go back without any hestitaion.all the chowing of lessons and sitting outside school and just to make the school know our presence.goin to bishan sec after school and then getting into trouble with guang yang sec and catholic high school boys.haiss.i realli miss it.yesterdae when i was comin back,i saw anne low.when she first came into my school,the first class she took was mine.so met her coincidentally and we were talkin about the nonsense at amk hub.i felt realli sad when she told me how the school is now.she siad she do not like the school as much as she did.i was shocked.she said no more clowns to remix the national anthems by students,no more funny quarrels between teacher and students,no more public caning and all.she said the school is moving towards a acedemic goal.i am glad to hear that.she even said until now our manes are being spoken in staff room of how we made the school nonsentical.one thing she said she will not forget is the one where the last day of school we broke the fire alarm and ran to class.hahahha.i completely forgot about it.its damn funny..all those lower sec will know who did it but do not dare to tell it.haiss.so mani things we normal acedemic did together as a school.and end up we were in the loosing end..although i enjoy each and every bit of secondary school,i just wished one percent that i should not have been like that cause it is those mischieves that brought me into one after and another and i had so much problems.even when i wanted to change,i could not cause the name has been black marked and in order to go on,we had to do our nonsense..hahahhahaha!but still we had alot of dirty and clean fun.but i dun care.i love my sec school and that it.being a boy's schoool we had the best times of walkin half naked and when sjc girls came our school,it was marked as a hell for them ..hhhahaha.shooting ice at them and screaming along the walkways.......i miss it......and ang mo kio riders.all thats left outside is me.all of us are sepreated..gone case peeeps.i miss my bike.where we would just go out anytime and all of us would be under the block at all time.i just miss ang mo kio alot.when i used to stay there.now its like a very new place whn i go there.everything has changed.i may sound damn old but its just that i experienced all these crap when i was young and now just at the age of 19,i know the outcome of people who engage in all these nonsense....now when i go t ang mo kio i am all alone which is precisely the reason i do not step in there.but vicky is getting released in another 1 year.then faisal would have completed his ns.and then its time for us to reunite.thats the time i am waiting since sec 3.....

its time i change my ways

2010-05-09T18:51:00.002+08:00

satudae-went over to training.i miss that place so so much.all the memories.it is one place where i went in sec 2 after i had some problems.so much things happened.and harvin let me ride his bike wohooo.thou onli in rp.clocked at 70...his bike is realli done properly .from the maintence to paintwork.as for myself i do not know which bike to get seriously......omg!was otw back home when i saw regina.......the last time i saw her was in sec 2 b4 we went our own ways.then i wished i never saw her..but the worst part is when i saw her in the bus and she got down at my bus stop.so i took the long way to go up and i saw ur goin up to the block adjacent to my house.cb la.who ever i usually wish to move from and all will somehow be aquainted be seeen...but never miind she is a left back topic in my life.tomoro morning will be my roster starting.and when i saw it i was realli shocked.increased oills and 3 litres of water a day so that i will not be dehydrated.smokelyser check will be done and log book is given.wah so many nonsense to follow.but time length is longer 7 months.so ok la slowli can be done....

i miss my secondary school alot seriously.all the things we did and all the ways we lived in carefree life omg.i feel very sad.all the things we did together.....

why was i really born for???

2010-04-24T21:48:00.002+08:00

nowdays i try to be happy and all and be myself.life has been reallly rotating more with poly friends then me using to sit in coffeeshop and rotting away..loll.just came back from 401 after meeting martyn,leah,stuart and raj.met stuart under his blog first then we walk.i really had no mood to talk.as in not cause of him,as in cause the places were once that held memories.recent ones to be exact and the ironic part is that it has nothing to do with 401.i no more walk like own the place and scream and shout and make noise at passer by's.i just had the no mood feeling and feeling its time to change.stuart was talkin to me but sorry stuart my mind wasnt with me.went punggol park.tried to make noise but we really all know it wasnt myself.the thing is they were tryin to act happy for me and i was acting to make them happy.i think i have to do it so i can actually have a piece of mind for everyone.if not its goin to affect me and i am afraid.seriously afraid.its way too much hurtful..but god knows what am i thinking about.day by day i get so mcuh thoughts,so much feelings and all but nothing is true...after all even shadows disapear in the dark.so no point sayin nothing is truthful.i guess nothing can be a substitute.but i have learned a valuable lesson of whom have stayed with me when i needed support and who claimed to be by my side but were actually hypocrites.lets see how it goes alrite?however i have my will and skills to overcome!i will!no more yellow pills i promise!no need..okies.my brains is not workin at all!good nites

same shirt different buttons.....

2010-03-30T01:19:00.003+08:00

Probably will be my last post cause i am either changing blog or closing it.was busy these few days so could not update.

today-was going to work.was sitting under block when a fucking asshole walk pass.so obvious he ssb.so i just heck care.walk towards and ask what i doing.told him was waiting for work and all.asked for tattooos and where i played and all the same shit.took my ic and checked for records.after hq cleared my name,he said sorry for the mistake,but i know he was damn reluctant to say it.he has no fuckin choice...and yea cant wait for 7th april!!i promised buddy i will follow her to school, do laptop and then follow her to dental:)and have plans to go university.just wana give a shot.okiess......so much thing so little time.omgg!missing so mani people now.wana see them but i cant.booked slot to meet vicky but i dunno if can get..he still has 3 more years before he is released from changi.haiss.i could have been inside with him if i had not shifted house and moved away.well...things happen.

i was listening to a song and it said if the person comes in ur dreams means they wana meet ua dn when u have gottten the fame,girls will come auto..lolls.

okies this may be my last post and i dunno if u are reading this but i just want to let u know.u are the one who made me set down to think and make me think of life.thank you for it.we may never get together but now i will remeber u just as a friend or rather an angel who actually came into mi life to change it.i wont go around lying saying i will love u till i die and i will wait for u till i die and all those stories.i jsut want u to be happy and i can go on.find urself a good boyfriend and hope he treats u with the love and respect that u deserve cause u are a very nice and good girl.well there will be no more calling of HEY BASTARD from you and no more of me annoying u in class just to see ur face.i just hoe that if we ever meet in rp or even outside the smile will make a difference cause when u never reply the message i realsied i never made any impact to u in life and yeaps.thansk for askin pees to comfort me that time.i will be all right.if u have any troubles that u think u cant solve try callin 84444824:)

and yeaps coach kicked me out of boxing and told me that i can only come back when i prove myself....

ps.i SINCERELY loved/love you.

skeeding kills....

2010-03-21T01:24:00.003+08:00

yesterdae-went to fep to meet je.talk talk then rode over to hougnang.drop me and she went off.then all made our way and went over to the bbq.fucking miss all of them man.han xiang and adel both came.which is a good thing.cause its been years since i saw them.then adel is under awol and han xiang going changi.....siann.then he was sayin abotut the girl he wooing and ppl came into the thing and as usual he finished the job,hhahahs..rings a bell.left there.all wen to 401.the went over to punggol park.and this group of indian timers which me and martyn had problem with were there.they were drunk ttm.and the best part,my shirt was the printed at the back(A)lways (S)standing (T)ogether.and the timers are also from ast ang mo kio side.loll.and the best thing was,the guy was m friend's father.but they never give us any problems expt we had ocasional starings at each others.then we we leaving the guy whom created trouble with us said bye to us.he still remember us.loll.came home sleep.then woke up super late for driving.cabbed down.Chew saw e he shocked.he was like eh why u come back?refresher ah?i said no i fail.he started to scold said he trusted me alot to pass and all.loll.then as usual i was driving at 70 and he was sittin listening chinese songs.he teach me parking and all.then going back time.the slope,i was goin at 70,far away the traffic light green so i mantain speed.chee bai.i hit the second arrow the damn thing turn yellow.having a speed camera i cannot sabo my instructor so i jam break.i swear the thing skeeded all the way to the middle of the junction.wah piang.and i had 3 seconds to react if not the mofo drivers will start to horn and all.wah.fucking scary leh.cause the rain play busted.so i drove at 50 at ubi.but once rain stop back to 80!hahahahs!first time he let me tocuh 80 in his car.and signal i never put signal,never check back,turning one hand and u turn cut on others lane.he said i drivning like i got lisncnce alreadi.hahahsss.

its been so long alreadi and u still dun wana talk to me?i leave it to u...from yellow pills to isolation i tried.but i cannot forget u.if u are happy with ur current life.congrats....

BIKE DREAM!

2010-03-13T02:12:00.003+08:00

Today-woke up at 11.rushed to print all documents and went to work...today work as shooting instructor.shooting was in common wealth cause at first the school was guangyang or chaoyang.dunno some lanjiao name one.but woke up late.lol.so made my way to second part.then as usual,the shooters were a fuckin pest in my head.asking stupid questions and all.then went to sentosa with riders.the whole gang.so dam funny.all of us did shit and was liek irritating each other.its been so long i slacked with them.then going back home.was riding tru nichole highway.smth happened.dun wish to elaborate.but omg!i just can wait to tak emy bike!i dunno should i tak sp kr or tzm!i was loving kr cause of the name and the design.nee nia mah,but after i saw haifz tzm,mi heart melted.

okies i did smth today.if i am selsected,i have a total new change to my life.even mi parents dunno.when i selaed the papers and wanted to put in the mail box,i was thinkin am i stupis to do it rashly but i swear i caught a glitch of ur face and the next moment i just let my fingers off the envelope.it was my ambition but i stopped it cause it was too risky and it was smth way off my age limits.although its for the government,its a dangerous life.but i jst need to persue my dreams.cause,i dunno if i can even get for u...and the fire had been just pushed to here.if i ever get sucessful here,i promise i will ring u up and call u up for a coffee at starbucks in marina square.the same table....and i promised i will bring u to a place where we can forget our worries and u agreed to go but well things arent any smooth now.cause i just dun wan the friendship to turn to a hate mode...or as our friendship ended?i dunno...memories linger...the best one?the butterfly one....good nites or issit a good bye?

110 post

2010-03-08T02:14:00.002+08:00

went to ion after that sudden change in plan....waited for stuart with johanthan.took 132.drama in the bus.went over to 401.walkin there,2 indians were looking for ppl cause they had some problems(shirt)so we were walkin and this one guy came and asked if it is us...he asked in tamil.and he go and said the gang name.then me and boeye just keep quiet and said we just came down and we got nothing to do with this problem.na bei they 40 plus goin to 50 still want to find trouble and gang gang summore.4 of us could have just given the 2 idiots.but the other one keep sayin sorry.he come and hold my hands and said sorry bro.cause they everytime see us arnd.loll we have repsect in hougang bitch!!!loll..and taking the yellow pills to sleep again.wat the fuck....and hell yea there is training tomoro.the bad thing is diet is comin up and is a bitch now.more milk less flour products.jeeeezzzzz.idk when i am going back to driving........memories man!

FUCK YOU

2010-03-07T16:05:00.002+08:00

slacking too lately.not goin work,not going trainings.just being a FAILURE by bumming around.dunno also...damn bored.submitted the home award to join home team.see how if they accept me anot.then from there life starts i guess.day 3 and still goin on.

below post is written on anger and u not happy dun read...thats all i will say.

i was damn angry with you and i deleted ur number and ur msn and everything to do with u.but deep inside,i just cant move on.i am not being emo or shit but i dunno why.boat quey,clarke quey,st james,zouk....wherever it is.i realli dunno how to phrase the feeling but i am fuckin being torned apart.and the best part was we were not even attached.i really want to move away move on what so ever but stuck..all i need is 5 mins to be alone,and ur presense come in.how long i gin to be like that?i dunno.all the moments just linger.u just made me into someone whom i was not.fuckin hell.its such a headache u know.4 years,i was single and happy and no such feelings.but now i am stuck.everyday has to be surrounded by people and all.my anger can sustain with everyone but when it comes to u,i dunno why the fuck my anger has to just die.u and 401 has no link but even when i sit there now,memories linger.wat the fuck...its totally not ur mistake.its just that i fell too deep and i cannot find a grip to stand up.i just should not have sent the message.now the onli way for me is to contact u is twitter...i deleted everything relating to u.but how about ur memories?i cant...i am just one of ur friends.i had so many friends who were girls.but u stood out.i will remember u..

u know

2010-03-04T12:05:00.002+08:00

woke up earli in the morning,just to realise that my ihone was running the whole night....watch tv stone around the house,and now using lapy.need to go to acer to collect my laptop man!then sc meeting in the evening followed by thursday night!which means the whole gang will be gathering at punggol park tonight!weee!!shall show my head for a while and off home.tomro the last day for my excitement.after that back to promises and shall start to work on monday onwards.took a long break.and anytime soon i foresee a fight with my supervisor.cause we crowd contollers have to wave and smile.cb since when!we green uniform have been the most respected for our fierce fuck face and by waving and sayin'hello welcome to sentosa'its like being the ticketing people alreadi whom we deem to be gay.we will never smile.cause ourr job is to fuckin control the crowd not to welcome them.and the zouk job,gave it a miss,cause mi my parents know,i am dead.and ii am geetin one step closer to get the dream(parti time)job of a bouncer!!!!!shall not say here but weeee!!!!i just cant wait.but i am needed to grow tall.i regret being short for once:(

nickelback qoute

u know i love u i love u all along
i miss u far away too far along
-faraway

your moma qoute

your mother so fat that when she was swimming in the sea,people thought a continent was floating apart.
hahahahahhhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaimissuhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah

far away

2010-03-03T14:08:00.003+08:00

HELLOO!!!went to gym yesterdae with raj and ben.did workout for back and chest.then bathe and went to hougnag interchange to eat then off to wing tai interview.saw aishah and the frien there.hahahz was shocked man.then after interview went over to hougnag o meet stuart and martyn.slack till 7.10 then went home.that was the ealriest we ever left from a slackin session in our entire 3 to 4 years of slacking?i think i dun want to stay late out anymore.spend equal time in and out home.

yesterdae aunt called me and asked me talk to cousin cause it is supposedly he is in love failure.lol.when the faggot in sec 2.then i remembered,i was in the same shoes when i was in sec 2 also.so i called him and he was saying nothin nothing at first then he told me.apparently he likes this girl and they got tght and after some time things became sour and she does not want to even treat him as friends.that point of time i was thanking god for my own case that happened recently.so i told him my very own case and all.he told me dun lie,then how u and elder cuz everytime can make the family happy and never worry abt life.so i said,elder cousin had too many gals and now he wants onli his friends.nothing more.me is i cant do anything alreadi and mi sorrow is dead witth me.so he started to cry.and i was like its ok its okies.deep inside,i was also crying but not for me but for him cauase i know how he feels.and that made me loose my sleep.tried hard but could not sleep.tossing and turning tossing and turning cause i tot i moved on,but i relaised that i am beginning to just live wihout it.thats alll.and as i always looked up to my elder cousin,he once told me,wife will follow u whereever u go but how sure gf does it?u are onli 18(last year)do more in life.freinds is all u need when u need.and he is so true,my brothers is all i need.i can perfectly go on in life without remembering the anniverseries,buying things every month,holding hands and walking, watching movies and crying in each other shoulders.i had that time alreadi.now i just want to enjoy life!one life live it blast it!and nickelback is one who made the impact in mi life!

close shave

2010-03-02T00:22:00.002+08:00

was rotting at home.then went over for training.after training,went to 401.and omg i saw jaya(clerk of sentosa)i told her i cant work this week cause not feeling well.then kana caught noo choicde cause it was in 401.i cant run here andthere to hide.my own area leh.hahahz.talk talk then she went off.moved to punggol park.taked school stories and laughed at how notorious we were in life in secondary schools.then stuart kana stuck in new love triangle.its always the case where when i pick myself he gets it and when he picks up,i get it.always the case since sec 3?but nvm.i have cut contact with all the ones that actually needs to move away from me so their life can be better.so now left with 401.happier that way i guess.life is just tooo nice but i just have to think it sucks and such.no more.i goin to be who i am,get the love from everyone.life is too short for grudes,anger,sadness,awkwardness or jealousy.no point la.we have our own lives to lead.i have seen my light.though its gona be hard to live away from bad influences and every small problem might make me make it big will arise,i think its okies.life is the heaven thats given here.so lets be happy people.one person i wana say thansk to is nickelback.thier songs have made me open my eyes alot and realise the truth in life.and u know wat!!!the bus uncle in my workplace is actually the famous timer..wat the fuck!i wanted to meet him cause he was so damn popular and one day he just went quiet on illgal activites.and so we were talkin and i asked him things.knowing about me,he just tell me better change.omg!him saying to me!like wow!a timer......

3 PROMISES!(EDITED DUE TO REQUEST)

2010-02-28T01:30:00.004+08:00

HAPPPY BIRTHDAE AMANDA!!!!!as per promise we have brought u to clubbing!u made me break promisess!!hahahhzzz...

went to pinnacles first.was talkin talkin.then proceeded to zouk.queueing up time saw kat.but was already inside plus she with her friends so i went in with my friends.enter in onli,the aura make me get beack memories...all the james house times..hahahahs.went over to df and was there when got this guy staring staring at me.i was like,wah eh i just started to come back and dun tell me i am in for trouble.he suddenli shouted at me damn oi!then i shouted back u oi wat!.but when i went closer,it was gary!hahahahahaz!by this time the bouncer was standing near us.then we hug each other and talkin talkin.hahahs.then he proceeded off.then walkin out,someone from behind came and hold my hands.and it was jasmine.so shocked to see her there.she really changed so much..she was with her girlfreinds and since my wonderful fucking ex was there,i nicely slided off.then went back.went to future side.masuk into the crowd but i didnt like phuture cause too crowded.keep banging and pushing..moved away and back to zouk side all the way.........JAMES HOUSE COMING SOOOOON!!!!

I AM BACK!

2010-02-27T13:26:00.003+08:00

blog when i got pics!i love u all guys!STUART AMANDA RAJ BERNARD AND MATTHEW!!

to j:
was sitting at the bridge.i wasnt emo but the feel just isnt right.like something somehwere isnt correct.i dunno but i gave it alot of thought.and i am sorry i cant accept you.i just suffered one and i dont think i am ready.i cant commit to anything now.very sorry.i know after this u never contacted me and thou u read my blog everytime.i am so sorry.i kno happpen some time back but matters of the heart,leave it to nature.i handle ways and move in life differently.though we can be happy,the fact that you are not quite fond if my friends is something i can digest.cause for me.family and friends are same.equal.cause they have saved me so many times.and no matter whoever i love so much,one small word against my friend and i will hate her.i dun want u to get the hatred.sorries.......study hard.

SNEAK ATTACK

2010-02-25T03:30:00.003+08:00

2 days ago-morning reported for work late.but no need care cause there is like no crowd in sentosa which means my duty is in pantry(slacking)was sitting down talkin cock with the bus uncles.then hakesh and alan came with their friends.idiot work also sentosa slack also sentosa.loll.just becuase free entry.haahas.

yesterdae-reported for work but then not feeling well.then kesh came in then he touch he told me to go home.fucking temp 38.8 degrees.so reported sick.went home.sleep sleep.then jenny called said got funeral must go!i was like where?she said merpati road.i said i will only come if i get to ride the bike :)hhahhahahasfever but still had to go.so went there.paid the respects and met all the old khakis and then was otw back.then the place so confusing.so i entered the wrong road and was riding like a mad idiot.then goin goin,jenny told me oi we somehwere called happy avenue.i instnatly stopped and look.wat the hell.i just smiled then went on and that place is annoying.no offence but all link here and there.finally came out and came home.and sleep.

today-whole day fighting with fever!then just now i tot fuck the world.so took glucose,cough mixture and 2 panadol and slept.now feeling ok.expt for sore throat.hahaha!!

and i have decided!i am going to find a friend who is a girl to be my best friend and do everything together.but only best friends.but has to stay near to me.onli got one.but she .....:(i dun think so...

lets scout..al the friends whom are girls that i know off stay(live) so faraway!nvr mind..and my greatest teacher was u!(:and sandy just cant get some english terms!

ACER

2010-02-22T22:10:00.004+08:00

today woke up late!rushed to bathe and ran out of house.literally run past the jungle near my house.then i go accidentally kick the orange.siannn.then i go offer 3 stick off joss stick there.siann.that took some time cause that place i have to walk everyday.later at night some friends follow me back i die.hahahhas.then took bus to wdlands to meet brother and siew kheng.but sandy just woke up when she messaged me.so met geraldyn and went to acer.whole time kp leh she.but understandable la.so i just play play.then came back wlands.sandy met us,went to eat then off to rp.go there to do windows 7 knn they last min say must come at 12 to do.cb.....loll.so took train.went to meet stuart at cathay.met martyn and leah in the train.went to cathay then ljs.then train to hougang.went to shop and then sat down at 909.loll.never go 401 cause no time..then back home man!omg!!tomoro work love it bitch!hahahha...I AM BACK!!!hahah!!!!!stuart made sense man!!!!and i wana be a monk!loll!!!I AM GOING TO BE WHO I AM!NO POINT CHANGING CAUSE U KNOW Y?ITS NOT U!I LOVE MY LIFE!!!I LOVE TECHNO! !just now my friend said i am very restless!!hahahas..then me and stuart planning to rent car and drive.the best part is both liicence dont have.and saturdae he wants me to die die go clubbing!but i realli dun want..though i miss the place ah,like no mood leh.cause like go there then smth happens again?but realli time of my life was then.omg!!should i or should i not!!!!!i realli dunno!summore home ground power house leh!like omg!!!!how can i say no to it!geesh!see how la.most prob will be a know.but i made a promise to amanda actually that i will go...i promised michelle and i broke her promise.i never go with her.now amanda?loll..see how summore powerhouse so near to my work place!!!!free entry summore!knn!and yea trainig was such a bitch that my leg sprain!had to fix it using the stupid medicated vascaline thing and most prob in for dec competition.but coach sort of give up hope on me.cannot blame la.did so much and if now i suddenli go back can take me in like that meh?have to prove.but i dun want this weight catogory.wana loose weight.dunno if he goin to kp for that also...this whole week booked man!on the 28 out with classmates.27 out to .....secret! and i got a date with shiela !!!!loll.jokin!if u are seeing this dun come and kill me!cause u asked it first::P:P:P JOKIN JOKIN MAN!AND U KNW!!WATCHING THIS VIDEO....DAM TOUCHING!!OMG.!!IF ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT AH I SWEAR GUYS WILL NEVER BE BASTARDS??QUITE NICE LA.BUT TAKES TWO HANDS TO CLAP!LOLLAND ONE HAND TO SLAP!

2010-02-21T18:57:00.002+08:00

St gabriels........

the school where i changed for the worst and good again.so many things happened.we went thru thick and thin together people.so mani times we got canings together,left the classroom hiding in toilet for one hour.declaring own canteen breaks where the whole school will be in class.i miss u all so much.so many a times we desperately said we wanted to leave and now that we left the school we are yearning to come back.since all boys school,we had so much fun walkin around the class in boxers and half naked(top).hahahahs.memories.climbing out of windows and running out of class...going to 77th street in bishan to buy stuff la then go to the big longkang play seaweed wars and end up fighting and when police comes all running.purposely sitting outiside j8 and waiting for someone to disturb us for that childish quarells and such.i missed it soo much.under block 7 where everyday got free show and runnign up the block upon seeing the police and throwing gala poles at jacobs.goin early moring and copying homeworks and teacher sends the whole class out cause she knows its the work one onli one person.askin lower secs to donate 50 cents when the bird died and we went to block 7 to celebrate.i miss all that.not going school but going for ncc and being so highly strict there but once take off uniform like one devil.hahahah...its all memories.i just wish to go back.that school was ours.but now?we all seperated and we live a different life.all matured grown up and knows how to move on.was in msn with martyn and there his sj stuffs had to start loll...tomror meeting at 401!!!goin back after so long!pay rolling in man!!woohoooo!!bike and car i can feel u all man!

afternoon saw this chinese drama-damn nice.the guy like this girl long then the girl dun like him even as a friend.then one day he was trying to talk to her but she dun care.then few days he went missing then she like sort of had small memories of him irritating her and she found out that he was involved in a accident and lost his memories.but the best part was now the girl took care of him and all but he cannot remember her and all.but the girl fell deeper and deeper.this time the guy was like hesitating.and the climax was woah!!he said,wat u had with me was symphathy cause when i wasnt there u came and seeing me like that u felt guilty and walked off.and the place was raining and the show ended~kanina!that guy was actually correct.he tell the gal he like that after some time just cause he accident she show sympathy.but u think real life we like that meh?confirm it will end up in hugging the girl one.hahahaha!!!THEN listening this song the gal fall for him then he dun wan to accept cause he gangster but deep down like her.now he trying to act hero!loll

AND SHIELA WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME!!!!!!WHOOOHOOOOO!!!THOSE TIMES!

and joyce called me a flirt 12 times today itself!faggot cause i got more friends who are girls and close to them?too bad!

currently i miss-

stuart

martyn

vanessa

adeline

nana

eugene

sandy

gerealdlyn

rafiq

jerel

shiela

afeeq

ajul .....................

170207

2010-02-20T12:16:00.002+08:00

i die die wanted to post on 17 feb,but before i could type finished i slept...3 years have passed.so many things...from how i used to see u everyday to now i dun even know u are there anot?life changed moved in own paths and we became seperated..drrrdling about it makes seem time pass fly huh...lol

work lately has been a killer has alot of problems between us and the managements and some fucking bus drivers who just want to act like supervisors.look u dun pay me driver fucker~i aint gona listen to u!ur job is to drive the damn bus arnd.dun boss us around.so was angry so i changed and cooked up the excuse that i needed to go and went to meet geraldyn in vivo..had dinner with the faggot and was making noise.then in the bus i press the send button then went to hooters to eat then boat quay.that place was still the same.the waters with people filling there and the chain railing,where i would never foget.I MISSED SANDY AND GERALDYN SO MUCH,seriously brother was meesaging me to check if i was still alive every now and then and never commit sucide by jumping off from the sky tower in my workplace.and sandy was consoling me saying its ok and such.though i know u all for soo short,i love u all man,realli by my side.ok BACK!took 12 to tampines and then took 3 home.12plus alreadi but i tot be hero walk by the jungle path cause way more faster but i was singing and walking when someone tapped me.it was common to get all these to get when walkin there so i just continued walking.suddenli i heard a familiar person voice.i was definately sure that the person would not be there.so i started to walk faster.the man=in part was,a old man was standing beside me.in the damn centre.i see i start to panic liao.so i walked that way cause i had no choice.went there pray there and walked off and itchy backside after passing there i turn and see.this time no one.so i just continue walking.,,,wah piang eh!!last time was just touch touch.,but yesterdae reali kana ont time good one,

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAE KAT

WORK

2010-02-17T00:07:00.002+08:00

last week-friday last day...things happened.thanks for the large group that came to like cheer(kpo)at the mrt station there.then went to bugis with vanny.then went off to 401 till late..

Saturday-alot of shit happened b4 left for work and i tot enuf was enuf then was realsising i was PARTLY in the wrong.

sunday -work al the way.damn crowded and by the time contol the crowd and clear the island it was about 11?but was nice cause i wasnt alone and wasnt thinking of anything.

Monday-same as sunday

Tuesday-fucking na bei!made to carry cue poles and all so can facilitate the clearing of crowd when the damn hell resort world diverted all their cars to beach carpark.so was doin traffic duty.

i just want to be left alone for the time being people.i just need to readjust.everything is getting annoying and i am shutting myslef from my friends and family.sorry people but yea i need time.

and god sorry for saying u suck..cause u know wat?you dont just suck.YOU SUCK BIG TIME!TILL YOU MAKE MY LIFE BETTER~!

back to work

2010-02-13T08:22:00.002+08:00

will not time to contact anymore guys sorries cause working and i got training coming up....see u all sooon

A SINCERE THANKS TO SANDY,GERALDLYN,VALERIE,JEREL AND RAFIQ.THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT U ALL GAVE ME.I LOVE U ALL

TO GOD:YOU SUCK!

iphone!

2010-02-06T16:48:00.004+08:00

SO LONG NEVER UPDATE MAN...SO AM BACK AND NOW I GOT NO MOOD TO UPDATE CAUSE I AM LIKE SO BUSY AND ONCE HOLIDAYS COME I HAVE WORK AND HIGH CHANCES TO MIA......LOL.....so everything has been goin fine now and i think it will go fine although i know somethings are not fine,i pretend cause its never easy to please others if u cant please urself.so yesterdae after school went to FEP to find stuart and benard.since in fep,tot might as well drop by to see kat..and she was so blur that i was standing in front of her shop....blur queen.then was doin nonsense in town then we went to a damn damn damn nice place.thanks to the 2 clowns.i really loved the place....its so nice and i did not wana leave that place cause its like u forget all ur worries that u ever have..geraldyn told me we are damn independant that is why we actually suffering s much.she is so true.its like i lived alone happily all this while and all these has to come,it is not that nice to be..i really dunno how waht to do..good begets good and i never believed in it until recently.all the sufferings will only be answered by god.if its is going to be then lets see.....i really want to change.i hate my this life.although everyday i am like smiling and beingg happy

and a sincere sorry to coach.i know from u giving me so much confidence to help,u do not care about me.i understand because i dont go for trainings and actually refused for partisipation for march tournament.i really feel so bad.cause when ever i was depressed i go for boxing and now that our club is foldong and u need all the boxers i am not helping u in any way.the time is near.once the news is out,i promise i will be back.i will start everything from scratch and relive my dream that u wanted also.u were mi motivator and such but i have let u down.

sandy-thanks for being a wonderful friend when i needed u and thanks for trusting me and telling me everything that was troubling u.dont worry life has bound to have troubles.just remember asense makes the heart grow fonder..

geraldlyn-u r a wonderful brother who actually shares the same feeling and we are the most annoying ones in the class with rafiq.even when we are emo,we tend to outshine the emo ness and thanks for being such a wonderful person.

kat-my first friend in W47F and thou we quarrel alot,we know at the end of the day we mean no harm and care for each other.thanks for being a faggot and fighting wit me and make me break into the class bonding!!!!

rafiq-how we met?everyone knows la.from staring to everything became brothers.making noise to fighting all we do it.i will seriously miss u and how we really behave with each other.

i dunno y am i posting all this but if ever smth happens to me..i just wana say i love the people whom i have put on top......i just wana throw my phone one side and sleep the whole time and just vanish from this world...maybe i am running away from troubles.if u interesed to know i still alive anotmthen try calling me.....and i found out smth....a girl who looks entirely at the exterior of a guy can never get a good boyfriend..based on my freidn personal experience.!!!life is like a game.one step leads to another one.and now i am in a blocked suitation.see?

my friend once told me the problem with me is that i make everyone laugh and hates it when people dont share the problem but when i have a problem i tend to pretend that i have no problem.so i actually told him one mof my problem and then told him..so u tink u can solve?he was silent.its cause my problems are all too complexx.thats why. just wana off my fucking phone and just get my fucking bike again and ride it and just crash it somewhere...and geralkyn wa right....no matter what a leopard never changes its spots....

RELAXING IN PROGRESS!BUT U THINK I AM?

2010-01-27T10:30:00.000+08:00

YES OR NO??

2010-01-25T15:18:00.002+08:00

FRIDAY-went home super early,bathe on tv,first thing i saw was the show fellow.loll.my friend's husband.then all got activated.so chiong bathe again,changed and left home.supposed to be in ppark at 8.00.but cb all cannot make it so earrly so i went to garden for a while.and also coincidentally it was 4 years exactly since we went in our own ways,so stone down there.like alone..emoness crawled in cause i realised how much i took love for granted.but well,.....then boeye called so took bus went over to 401 bought things then moved over to ppark.then sit down talk cock and relaxxxx..till 12 plus.went to cousin hse.took cab sent leah home otw.then got down at cuz house.call him,he sleeping!shit..had to climd thru the window to call him adn so there i had to climb in like a burgular.threw my wallet at him so he can actually wake up and open the door.

Saturday-was with cuz in the morning then was out with aks at amk the whole day,loll........ntg much.

sun-all the way slackin..........

i really do not know what are u thinking leh!sometime i wish that we can go on like that sometime i wish i can just run away!hehehehehehe

ninja warriors

2010-01-20T20:41:00.002+08:00

came back from meeting bros!!!!martyn and stuart..then something happened..so went down to seng kang went to 131 and wait wait till came down..then tasha and bianca and aunty came.solved every crap.told tasha not to worry about it and crying.then aunty asked me one side.the convo as follows....

aunt-they everytime ask help from u for r/s right?
me-yeaps.
aunt-you in poly no one above the clouds ah?
me-got la.just recently onli kana...
aunty-u actually asked?
me-no la,just that the person found out was was not keen.
aunt-then how?
me-no la.i am just being a friend la.cause u see so mani r/s rush into it then break up then u hear break the girl also suffer...y u wana make u heart break when u are not serious?can we like dun talk abt this?please?
aunt-no i mean everyone in the grp has a gf and u dun have.thou u may be plump and such,u got a good heart so just curious if u dun want anyone anot...
me-no la.just that i find a right one and then will pursue all the way cause i hate it when ppl play in r/s.u should know me by now.
aunt-yea i know.if u wanted to play there were so many chances but u actually shrugged it off..so i tot u hate r/s but ppl turn to u for advice and u realli dun even have the thought of having a gf any time soon ah?
me-until i learn to love myself,i cant love others and somemore everyone who comes to me for advice,i actually learn from them so i will get a good gf and make sure i will treasure her for life.
aunt-gives a smile and said,if onli all guys start to think like u,i think the world will not have so many divorce cases.but boy i have known close to about 2 years now and u have a good heart,willing to give anythig for ur friends and i even sew how u suffered with the previous heartbreak.but one thing is ur temper has to go.ur temper is way much for a person.thou i know u have changed but please.i heard from the guys u were actually uptight about this girl and i know wat happened so just wanted to ask u..that point of time i just wanted to scream and whine loll!but i learned self love my boy!!!!!!

2010-01-19T16:45:00.002+08:00

my post yesterdae was actually by kat and geraldyn which means that i did not do any of the above post!!okiess.cousin chalet ended last sunday was a blast.was doing all the things we could.was driving and was also finding time to actually ......hahahahah!!!enjoyed alot....then came back.sunday went to sentosa with the usuals.thou the purpose was different.just went there....today wear formal like one idiot.took alot of photos which will be memories cause i know myself....then this kat and sandy told me that i was a FAILURE!!cb wah lan ehh!then was watching gangster 15.omg.i tell u,i started to like think of my life at the time and the best part adam came and talk to me.he was one of my close buddies who actually showed life to me.fighting,gang,funeral,robbing was all a stupidity.the fact which he made it explain to us.he has changed for the better.never stepped into the side of those illegal things.he asked how was i?so i said,i never do anything i used to do alreadi...like come school study and play and all onli...then he was suprised....cause i mysslef tot that i am a failure in life.decided to change when came poly but sometimes the temper just comes back.i realli try to control but to no avail.i try to smile everything off but somethings i realli like burning issues inside.....now that brothers are also busy.i dun wna actually disturb them.but i just want them to be with me.cause i can have a million girlfriends but no one can actually replace the 2 brothers cause the things they really did was soo much.was anson problem to ment problem.they stood by me all the way.and all the brother brother was called fromt the bottom of the heart...they can never be replaced.the movie gangster 15 may seem vulgar and such but its like till the last part that the brotherhood lasted..same story here.we may be all over but one call we get activated..if i get a chance,i will confirm study better go to another poly or at least another cause it all started in rp.....

and martyn and stuart were like saying u are the onli one who got no girlfriend.and i was like yea la wait la....u think so easy ah...and the whole gang pounced on me and said which girl u tell me,we make sure she say okies,loll then i was ,like that one call love meh...and i called sandy stupid the other time and guess wat she said!?u were anytime more smarter u would have gotten *&&.i was like wah!!!!!!!!die die also must get gf le..like ris low also never mind....buay tahan le...loll..hahahahha

actually more of if having a gf,its to like share the sorrows and JOYS

Mohd sweetie, you cannot leave anything undone. Answer questions being asked and you will discover exactly what you must do to turn around a stressful situation.

COLLECTION POINT

2010-01-18T12:27:00.003+08:00

AFTER so long back again. To kp. Kp lor. Kp.
Eh why life so fuck ah? CB. WTF you doing to my blog.
Ehhh CB. Fuck you all la. Kat is the worst person. Riswan also. KP ah. Deleteee!!!!! Tsk.
Twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder what you are up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Now I know my ABC, yes sir yes sir 3 bags full.
Mary had a little lamb, little lamb
RISWAN IS A JERK!

INSOMNIA CAUSE MORE THAN ONE WORRRY!

2010-01-10T13:28:00.004+08:00

FRIDAY-LOA went school did the open hse and i kana scammed by sandy kat and geraldyn but please so obvious i know its not kat rite.sandy is dumb.and i mean damn dumb.hahahhaa

Saturdae-open house-go and help out played with everyone and just did normal stuffs la.nothing much.......

on the lighter not-mi tp is actually next thursdae and i am damn scared.i wana pary but i am not doing it becuase firstly i dun really pray much and just because if i want something i go pray like making god like some well wisher fella...i dun wna go hell sia.thou i know lucifer has actually nominated me after his retirement.siannnnn.last week went to revise driving.wah wah i realli canoot understadn mi instructor.went out from aljunied mrt drove al the way to ubi there,then i turn into the centr damn sharp turn...he realli sold.then go into circuit to do circit,cb he started to doze off.then i was like fuming instuctor can sleep leh.so i drove miself.i swear upon mi mother i was practicing myslef.he was literally sleeping.park myself la slope do miself and all.thenwhen he sleeping i wanted to do s course without stopping cause mount kerb also never mind wat.so i went it and wah i realli never even brake.heheheheh...then drove to crank course same thing.purposely i do like that.then mi instructor woke up and tell me go do the s ourse go.wah!i tio happy i go never did anything as how he said.then he like mummering but i fuck care onli.he got no right to say anythig.sleepin leh.imagine if i was to go and langa someone?see.....then he say okies move out of circuit.then i was like speeding la playing gear and all....then he told me smth.ur driving is good.if on that day no big problem,u confirm will pass one.wah!he neva says good things to me one.and when he said thaqt wahh!!i think i can pass!and i neeed to passs one time cb i have made plans alreadi!i realli hope god dun play punk please god!

YESTERDAE-was in msn with sandy till late talking...was telling her everything.and all.fially i feel mi lovve guru aura is coming(:thou i like to bore her with mi love things,she seems to enjoy it!!!!!told her everything abt how i feel and all...hehehehehhe........i am currently in a moodless mood

communication failure

2010-01-06T08:39:00.002+08:00

ok chee bai i am in marketing and i am i am on the verge of sleeping.i am not trying to be offensive to this french guy but yea he is goin to talk for half and hour now and he still haven release the problem statement.omg i can die sia.....and he has a habit of picking on me so i cannot realli make too much noise also.so all i can do is just to blog here like a part time emo bastard........

Yesterdae-normal in class,had ut,had war with the ifiot who apparently threw bottles at me..then when to sc meeting(:slack down there.made milo for yong yiok....loll and he said that i look like on of the guy who raped the siloso beach party girl.cb i was working there la but i dun wear turban rite!loll.then went to eat with lip min shawn and yong yiok...they damn retarded!loll....then went back home did some trainning...then slept.today woke up tot will be late but however was way early.lol..today last day of schooolll!!!i got LOA for tomror and friday!omg god can be nice at times i suppose......and now i have decided not to pon on thursdae.cb......siannnn..

and in mi previous birth i think i was born as a dog cause i just fucking hate cat.they like damn disgusting sia.i see i like to kick them.they soo gross and idk whenever i talk about cat,somehow kat gets affected.siaoo eh...and quit school go ns

TRAINING DAYS

2010-01-02T23:40:00.002+08:00

morning-went for training.....over exerted i know....cause i was panting and i still continued,depsite my lung condition.then pad work was killing i miss queue for some and ended up getting punched...but still i had the anger to go on.....then went to meet sri and kumar did some gym there then went to aunt place..slept there till4 then went to driving..circuit was done with perfection..did the s course without stopping then another instructor asked me how i do then i just said the accuracy must be there.then lol he ask his student to sit beside me and show him....wahhh i feeeel soo happy....then show him and normal stuffs.in the bus listened to a song that dampened mi mood so i felt like not goin home yet..went to garden as usual and met chares tasha and lotte....slack there not realli in the mood to slack,walked home and came home.....stoning when carin came msn and we both talkin then she send me songs and the chat actually turned to a heartfelt talk and i was like so stressed then poor wall recieved a few blows from me.....i just pucnh the wall when i am stressed a bit i cannot change since young....now i am reading the lyrics and listening all the songs again!!!!ARGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Working with Gangsters,drunkards and Police

2010-01-01T20:57:00.006+08:00

31 dec-met the gang at vivo and was lazing around...realli not in the mood i was like quiet i know.sorry vanessa:(and eugene actually made me laugh at his stupid nonsense.i was thinking i wish i can be like him....he dun care anyone,he does things his wayss.then adeline the monkey came late then met her went to banquet and ate with stan and nana..then went to take bus to work..me and eugene as usual no need say late...open the office site door see vicknes knn aiyoo then he cracked some lame jokes which i didnt even hear..changed took van to tpt office and there was stoning....and they said okay siloso point we need to marshall to be there and i had a gut feeling that i will be the one...and as said,me and eugene were made to go there....cause i love workin siloso point cause i know how to keng work down there and vicknes being a slacker also chose us...btw vicknes is our supervisor.ahahha...so this time took lorry and went down to siloso point and started work...i was fucking chasing all the taxis and in the end i ended up liasonong with the police for the event cause they asked me how to move in,which way i recommend and zouk out got fights anot.loll..then i realli no moood so went to underwater world toilet there with eugene sit down for very long...then went back for controlling duty....messaged carin and sandy..decided to pluck my courage and asked for apology....so i asked the ranger to help me cove my traffic controlling duty and went to the back of the whole sentosa which means i was actually a swim away from singapore.....a cordoned off area cause its damn dark but since i got acess i just went there.....messaged and i put my phone on the rocks there cause i was damn scared to see if there is a reply?then reply came and i was like damn happy cause 2009 ended damn well for me!ran all the way to the siloso point there and was like screaming and dancing.hahahahahasss.then another shit happened..eugene said he wanted to call adeline also cause i siad,i did a mistake i dare not call so i messaged so this hero callled her..he apologised to adeline for breaking the promise and smoking and guess wat adeline does not even know he smoked after the stopping.....but she told me in msn she knew so i was like fuck la!!!!!!i was damn stressed that time.cb!loll then we ok alreadii then about 2 plus went back to pantry sit down and we ranting like small kids hahahaaa.....nb not even like 15 mins kana activate again...so went back to beach station this time and was controlling all the drunk fookers and all.and got this malay group in the queue who had some problems so i bring oone guy one side and tell him got cnb u all want u all fight outside dun fight here...cause i dun wish to write statement la this and that shitss.then told eveyone to take bus and went over to bus side and was patrolling there then a cnb guy ctrike up a loser conversation with me.....heyyy u workin here how long?and the crowd u think can clear fast anot casue i need to go home la my wife angry with me!wtf his wife my problem and he ask if i cans tart the sentosa express fater anot.,he think sentosa my father's playground ah....cleared all went back to pantry had a sleep for 15 mins then changed and took train..the whole mrt journey i was knocked out that i did not even know that eugene went off....came back home sleeep and just woke up...and now feel moodless and i am worrying about the case now....good start to a new year but a bad ending for first jan 2010..and i miss my sec school now badly miss it....a place where i never worried for anything and i miss mr bond's caning.:)

OMG I A, STARTING TRAINING TOMROROO!!!!!!!THATS DAMN NICE!!!WEEEEEE...ALL THE ENERGY WILL BE MOVING THERE ALREADY!MEET KUMAR AND SRI FOR PADWORK THEN TO GYM!!WED OFFICAL TRAINING STARTS(:OMG THE BESTT HING FOR NEXT WEEEK!!now all i want is to train for the tournament in december..train like mad untill i know he dun stand a chance becuase too long i never train alreaid.so i must not take chance anyway,so i am gona train and my aim is to take the welterweight title!thou i know i have many people to fight with..i will cuase mi blood is back boiling....

and and i wanted to send u a message so i actulli tyoed the message out and then when i checked my contact list,i realised,i deleted your number and so i could not send the message.ironic ah,so close but now i even deleted off your number cause i just wanted u to have the best life....

recce`e session

2009-12-30T20:45:00.002+08:00

today 3hrs after my insomniac sleeping,sandy had to call me in the morning to tell that the bikes were missing.so me and elliot went over to ecp to find it lost...made police report and all.damn long story........and when i got home,i got the most wonderful motherfucking thing a coach can tell me....eh u think F.P gym your father one ah..so long never come traing..by jan 7 u never come trainig,i am gonna kick u out and u can forget abt boxing and the tournament...loll.i got the message i was like smiling to miself cause i currently in a state of broken mind,hahahhahhasss....

jan i have to go back alreadii..buay tahan alreadi i need to go bak and train to break the fellows face.......

(:

redbull and panadol

2009-12-30T01:48:00.004+08:00

went bbq today with class,as usual....

I FUCKING TOOK 2 PANADOL WITH REDBULL HOPING I WILL GO HOME AND SLEEP BUT I FUCKING FAILED!!I AM REALLI LOOSING MY SLEEP FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS AND I TEND TO GET ANGRY AT THE SLIGHTEST..I REALLY DUNNO WHY BUT ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO BACK TO MY OLD LIFE BUT I PROMISED I WILL NEVER JOIN BACK AND I WILL NEVER CREATE TROUBLE BUT I FEEL FUCKING STRESSED NOW.....

christmas nightmare

2009-12-26T17:03:00.004+08:00

The following article is a first hand acc of me..i swear on the 25th at 2 plus am this happened..

i messaged everyone christmas wishes and i was hoping for someone to actualy reply my message.but unfortunately there was no reply.so i was like dozing off and suddenly,in my dreams,the person messaged me back

person-hey thanks for the wishes.i hope to spend the next christmas with u.

i,woke up half asleep check mi phone no message froom the person.about 15 mins i think another 'message'

person-i know you like me but i dun think u dare to tell me right?

this time i was friggin hell woke up and check thru all my messages but well no such messages from her.i was like shocked thinking if realli this dream is meant to be good or bad!omg!

then i woke up went work,all the while i was thinking about my dreams......so long i have never been thinking of a girl.its like why must she come into my life?we dun talk nicely,i run away when i see her,i do every other crap so i get mi little pleasures but one mistake is she knows mi past.a little bit if not too much.i realli dun want to loose it.but i got higher priorites.i miss u every single day but i think since its one sided i shall just live in my world...

and to the 4 ppls who knows the person thank u for keeping it a secret and i think i am not a love guru anymore.cause last time i used to solve all your relationship problems with ease but now even mi own one i am stuck but because my casue my case is always the same type..a complex ones.....

okies new year is comin and lets see all my high lights of my life in 2010

car lisnxce
bike liscence
11th boxing fight(Y)
try to woo her?loll that one for fun onlie,,

kkies got to go!stuart house FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND LEAH UR HOSE PARTY WAS ROCKING!
MACELLEN
BAILEYS
AND MANY MORE(:

IN CAMP

2009-12-17T00:32:00.002+08:00

omg i am like in camp but i am blooging cause i am so bored!yesterdae went out with sandy and gerlayn to town then we were bumming around and then with much much persuation i managed to call kat out of her house!she came and as usual i got bullied by the triplets.....siannn..hahahahs.but i enjoyed all the nonsense with them!!loll!!!kies back to camp!

ZOUK OUT

2009-12-13T23:48:00.003+08:00

okies peeeps!!!!back to work and had so much fun man!!!firstly met eugene and went to work like late?but we were ealri cause the meeting supposed to be at 5.30 but me and him in carpark office at 5.30 waiting for transport.then came vicknes with his usual fuck face(supervisor).i think he kana F by tango people...loll when to cove there the transprt office for breifing and we were given some dinner and slack 1/2 hour before we all were deplyed.me and eugen lucki/unlcki at siloso point itself....

lucky-cause we get to see first and wash our eyes of the people comin
unlucki-so mani traffic and taxi to traffic control...like traffic police sia..

then i was in charge to clear the cabs and to divert traffic,so i was playin ounk with the taxi auncles like thse havin pretty gal i never rush them not pretty i rush jiu the uncle angry.hahahahs.

then i was stading near the txi stand there,when this ah beng walked to this malay guy and pushed him on the floor!!so i tot i can see first hand free fight!scarli the chinese abeng is ssb!he look si bei ah beng leh.tapered pants with cap all,then got this aucle came into the picture.he was carryin pouch,wearing shorts slippers.and guess wat he did?took hancuff and arrested the malay guys!i was like wat the fuck...all these ssb i can be also lor!!!

then i was working sincerely,then as time pass by i was gettin bored,then suddenli i remembered lip min not feeling well so messged her.that made me kept awake for a few hours then i was back to the open eyes but system sleeping mode.then i doin work near 2 to 3 am,i saw 2 groups figthing againot realli fight but quarrel!the ironice part was the one group which had ang kong all over bidy said sorry and left..i was like wahh!!dun judge a book by its cover.then i was sittin near underwaterworld skiving when this group of girls came and ask for help.so takin advantage of suitation,i charbot from work for like half and hour!

then morning deployed to beach station cause due to large crowd!i went there so that there will be some fights so i can actually go in also.hahahhahahahahahaa!!!!!!no la free show.then when i about to knock off work 7.54 am ah,2 group shouting at each other!bapoks and malays...the bapoks fuckin violent,,i dunno wat happen to them.came home sleep wake up saw al the missed calls and meassages.i felt loved by u all guys(:then bump around......AND people keep sayin i flirt:(

and i am supised to see that my boxing diet is soo much differenet than the prevoius oness..siann the last time i followed this was when i was like in my o level time.and i was slackin ever since.now back to this sreww this man.....

i need:

wallet
16oz gloves
32kg punching bag
car!!!!!!!!!!

Team 5

2009-12-11T08:23:00.003+08:00

this is lip min's map of showing me how she met with person 'K" and hos happy she could get all day long.hahahhahas!!!!she is damn funny mann.....seeing him far away makes her happy.and she can stay for his match so long.so nice..

another boring tiime when we started to do nonsense.....omg i cant wait to work in zouk out!!its like how nice can it get?its damn nice hahahahahhahsss

.on the lighter note,i know you still wanna talk to me,but i dunno why ur ego is stopping u.it was never my fault!everyone says that,but u just dun understand!wnever mind la .suan...

old friends die hard(harder than anything)

2009-12-10T08:27:00.004+08:00

my maketing faci(sandy fling)

memories of what we have now in 585

the headman chair

the tattoo i did like again!!

2days ago-followed sandy to amk hub,then went to make my dbs card.went to check her things then went to meet blood.he is goin in on the 4 jan.damn sad sia.. he really did everything for me sia.all the things he did for me stays in mind still.however 3 years i am not going to see him.all all the guys who backstabbed us a big thanks.cause of u all,he found a new sense in life and has changed already..dun u all dare come back.i am not what i used to be and when i left u all,i was said to be a betrayer but see now i have someone else with me.he is realli my brother.not like u all fuckers,problem run no problem come see us.Call him mum aunty and now u all backstab,haiss i dunno what to say la.....

yesterdae-met BOEYE!!!!!and STUART!!!!the 2 brothers whom have been sticking with me thru thick and thin.never see them for like 3 months plus.finally saw them.talkin talkin relacking there,the most classic thing was martyn said,pimp cannot...drug pusher can.!loll.hahahahhahahssss.based on his experience he was sayin that.loll.and we all can be police cause we know where to catch ppl for drugs and stuffs.talkin abt sec school stuffs.omg i feel so sad leaving them man!!!!!

RISWN ! YOU BLOG FRIGGING SLOW SIA !

FASTER BLOG LAH ! SLOWPOKE !!

life is like a tattoo.never fades but just a scar at the end

2009-12-07T16:11:00.001+08:00

Woke up on time today and somehow went to school like a good boy.came earli to find out so many ppl haven reach school yet.then today maths i realli never do anyhting.simple reason if i dun know anything i will not do it and i will not bother takin credits for it also.wats the point of it.loll.snady was late.and now i am wth jerel,carin and aishah in marketing crap.came here for the sake of coming..siannn.chao

Long anger

2009-12-03T16:04:00.003+08:00

i just found the time to blog so here i am....

i think that in singapore sports has no value.althou this may be an old phrase,it is very true cause na bei chee bai my chance of goin thailand to train was given to another guy!!!!and he is way younger than me...15 years and all the explaination i got was you can try another time.just beecause i never go trainings properly.nee nia mah!how rude can it be lor.can now i believe all the senoir boxers sayin that boxing in sinapore is political...siann.now i dun care!!!!this is for u coach! am changing over to coach ken and i am goin to train head on and drop class weight to break the guy.u just be prepared!!!!u tool me for granted rites.now u watch lor.

okiesss.....i am boredd

tired of this man!!!

2009-11-29T13:09:00.002+08:00

i wana badly go back to my sentosa work!!!i realli miss workin there.siannn..haisss.today was a nice day.went to amk..just for memories...damn sian man nowww.got nothing to do.was once being so bzi to now so free.hahahahs.and i am always living in denial for the fact.i just want to be in the times where i was stayin in amk?the fearless roams.now i lost it all.starting ti think of consequences before i do anything.but one thing i strogly believ.nothing is wrong when it comes to help people and i mean nothing is wrong..and i badly wish mi police scholorship gets approved and i want to work as a real time bouncer in st james!!!!!!OMG!!this sentosa one is not even close to seeing any fights!!!haissss

life is a constant change

2009-11-28T19:04:00.004+08:00

MY LOVE!!!!<3<3<3<3<3<3 RAFEEQ<3,> ME,KAT<3,SANDY

ME AND SANYAYE

thursdae-went out and enjoyed:)

friday-celebration

saturdae-slackin at home

pics time:)

hahahahahahhas.i have moved on i realli am,i am gona change.not myself anymore.maybe its all karma.living a person in two skins is nevr easy,one where u bring laughter and another as someone who is constantly on the lookout for revenge in the past.i never knew i wil give up.i just want to cut all the contacts and live a brand new life.i had enough.all these isssues are just makin me irritated.now i got new interest buddies man hhahahs.rafeeq,kat,sandy,karin,matt and elliot and not forgeting geraldyn......

people i always thanked i had

Stuart-mi other half who knows everything.

martyn-the one who always will be with me

benard-makes me laugh at all times

vanessa-a very good frien who makes me feel trusted...though we scold each other like no tomroro,we alwyas confide things.however not all.hahahss

adeline-person who makes me think

eugene-a stres relief partner

sandy kat carin rafeeq are also in the list:D

today is the day where we seperated from each other exactli.i did not wana remember it but today as i was cleaning my old stufffs,i caught upon my diary and i saw today's date.its the date where it al happened in ang mo kio park..u go your way and i go my way.it was suffering but that time i choose my friends over you.all i wanted was to be in the and mo kio circle.i never realised your love.i never cared your feelings.it was surely a heart braking issue for u.i know u still read my blog and i just want to tell you that i am sorry.really sorry.i am just looking for the girl who shows me her love and no matter who is she i will get her at any extent.u made me realised that matters of the heart can change a person.thou it happened like 4 years afo,i still have the memories and without you i would not have actually changed for the better or have a better temper.u knew me best gettin uptight for no reason.i just miss those times but well humans are best only at ranting things.i am sorry.just goin through a patcch in mi life and i think i just got cleared?i just want to get one girl like you but unfortunately god is playing punk with me by makin me stuck to u..okies,enuf is enuf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!byessssss

boxing politics

2009-11-24T09:09:00.002+08:00

last sunday tournament tot me alot of things in boxing.i was not competing so i was moving around helping out and such.it was a good thing i did not take part cause i learned alot of things.firstly singapore boxing has politics.let me tell u that.just because the fightworks fucker is sijori silver medalist,mi friend was asked to stop the fight just because my friend was winning and the reason is because my coach does not want anything happening to him!eh come up with a better excuse la please.all this while i tot mi coach was a fair guy but i realised no point sia.faggot.so we decided,me sri and kumar will train under coach ken from now!!!!!and next december i make sure i go tournament and break the fucking fightwork club.knn.now danial reading mi blog!!!!hahaahhahs....and yesterdae went driving hahahas!!completed liao lo.everything done alreadi.now left to tp!!!!!shiok lehhh.....

TOOO SOON TO DECIDE?

2009-11-20T23:18:00.002+08:00

Normal-school day,then met boxers and went to slack again.haahh.tomoro tournament.the best part is,i am in charge of the equipment.the downside is,i am not competing.haissss.knn.and it also means from monday,i have to put my heat and soul to boxing already.too much a slacker and i am eating like a faggot!!!haiyooooo.....

yes,i saw u at causeway point a few days ago and let me just rant it out.it has been 2 years but unsucessfully i am unable to foget u.cause of what i did to u and stuffs.i know its rather too late but its human tendency to actually not appreciate things when having and then whine when they loose it.i am sorry but no mattter how many girls come by,when i listen to some songs,i only have you in my mind.its never possible anymore i know but i just want to say it out.until i get a girlfrien,i love you.with all my heart and soul!next year wil be the third year.....

welll

2009-11-16T23:22:00.002+08:00

YOUNG PUNKS
wah!i really need to tell this!a big FUCK U to all the fucking young punks who want to act gangsters la eh!chee bai,bloody sec one sec two act so big for wat.if u think u big ah,got somemore bigger la!!!!chao cheee bai!wah si bei dulan.wait till u all kena caught with the law before u all realise lor. nearly ruined my life like that,and u all just dun see the point right!when we tell dun wana listen.cb!u all see wat in this life?nice meh?worth meh?i hate these young punks.i know i was like them but at least i reliesed.before its too late.

TEENAGE RELATIONSHIP

Another big fuck u to u all la.i dunno wats so nice about this teenage relationship that u all want to get involved and then come and cry say he broke my heart i wana commit sucide!chee bai.go la!go jumo down la....i am ok with hearing yur love stories,but if u all keep gettin into pit falls and then come and cry again!!once bitten twice shy la.simple wat.u all still wna fall into then say love is not true!piang eh grow up la!!please la!!i know i am ranting but sorry these issues are super fucking bothering me la!!

okies....went school,drivning and home!!!i am fucking pisssed!thanks to those young punks.!if u all fucking get caught knn hong kan u all watch out la

bored to death

2009-11-10T15:37:00.002+08:00

finally like got time to blog so dropping by.sunday damn nice and relaxing day man.me brother cousin met.after so long all met together and knn both now ridin fireblade while i nothing.siannn.yoshimura exhaust pipe(bro)leo vince(cousin)lagi best.the sound sooo soo nice.then at traffic light i told my cousin y u stoppin in traffic light all.then he was like ok thats it and he rode so fucking fast.confirm his rpm meter touch at least touch 14....haiss.i cant wait to enroll and then take mi bike.and my tp is on the 13 january and mi fucking driving instructor faggot is not picking up mi calls MOFO!then normal things do in school.all the way late for school...si bei sian like no mood to study leh.hahahahhahahassssssssss!!!!

happy day

2009-11-07T21:37:00.002+08:00

Yesterdae went for boxing,coach sri last day cause he goin to school of boxing in clementi,.before goin he told me something which made me realli change the thinking.he told me sorry if i had scolded u or was being harsh to u.i did that cause i wanted u to be good and disciplined.omg,was he realli a goood person whom i have mistakend?idk.lol.then came home slept and stuffs.then morning went to see brother new bike!nabei fireblade with yoshimura exhaust!!!!so i am gona chiong mi bike lisence and take the bike over.white color si bei chio.then came home slept.then father woke me up say lets go out.then i drove agian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!weeeeee!!!drove all the way to changei beach there sit down talk with mum and dad.then back home.now rottting:(

Lipmin-2 green tea
Jesslyn-owes me 3

BYE LOYAL SERVANT(FU2624M)

2009-11-05T21:57:00.003+08:00

TODAY-late for school again....then normal la.then i owe lip min 1 and bottle green tea.but on the brighter note,jesslyn owes me 2 because of minesweeper!!!:Dhahhaaha.then back home.and then my brother told me lets go ride bike cause tomrro i pushing the bike to workshop cause i taking fireblade.haisss.then i followed my brother and sat on the bike.wahhhhh!!!i felt my ownself!!took the bike and wroooooooooom!!!!si bei shiok leh.the sound make me forget everything i swear.wah ride till i song sia.and came the best part!my father car was behind.so he was followng me behind(idk) wherever i went.then i rode back to the carpark and then mi father scream my name across the carpark and i was like who the hell is it!!!!then my father scold me like no one problem.haiaaa.but i swear worth it la....and i feeel very sad cause the bike that served my cousin and my brother loyally and it was my first bike where i used to curse and swear at it for not goin on properly...hhahass...and really feel the pinch.then family family talkin for fun all.then mi father said,ur brother brought a malay girl as his firlfriend and i am sure urs will be a chinese!when i asked for a reason,he said cause ur brother since young with malay friends so malay girl and u since the day u had frien it was all chinese and since u know how to talk chinese,easir for u!!!wat the helll?my father sometimes talk rationally like warrant officer......and i got reminded off her but i managed to put it behind me cause i am over it now and strongly believ that there will be a gal who is there for me.so y waste my time lookin for her when she can come to me one day.relaxxxx!!hahaha.i am super hyper from the riding of bike so the way i type is all nonsense.and for the first time,someone asked me to go amk and i said dun want.only hamster knows the reason.welll,some things are meant to be left in my dark days.....pics of bikes will be soooon:D

good or bad?u be the judge

2009-11-03T22:38:00.003+08:00

MY SECOND HOME(FARRER PARK BOXING SCHOOL)

today nothing much.in school the day.mi entertainment is jesslyn whereby keeps me awake somehow.cause hamster never come school so no one to like scold for fun'hahaha.then supposed to go driving but naaaaaah........then got coach called me in the bus and told me about the stuffs.omg back to diet and exercise liao.i must not looooose!!!!!can u imagine.the good thing is i have to train everything from start the bad thing is no tournament till 1 year time:(haisssss.never mind la.this time realli train till the faggot does not last even 2 rounds in the ring with me...haiyoooo.i am realli grumbling man.i miss training but i got no mood to go..how how!!i need motivation.then ah ong also called me.he asked got one sp want anot,then i said i now takin car liscence,nee nia mah,the joker kan me say that no need car la take bike join his racing team all.hahaha then he said i take car also better la.cause got one less devil on two wheels.damn busted rite!hahahz.i lost mi both girlfriends.boxing and motorbikes.haiyoooooo.and i tell u mi temper is coming back!someone control me please!

oooopsy!

2009-11-01T03:22:00.002+08:00

omg i am super tired and i have like 5 hours of sleep before i go out again!!!!!!na bei cb..and i realli want to get mi liscence asap cause this bus and mrt sytem is pissin off!!when will be the time i can whizz past in mi bike as it used to be!???

Cyber shot

2009-10-31T16:49:00.002+08:00

yesterdae-went back boxing after n months.so first do circuit.coach sri took us,he treat me so nicely and stuffs so i tot ok maybe the fellow changed,then when proceeding to heavy bags,i heard the mother fucking chee bai bastard pointing to me and telling something to a newly joined student.so i tot what he saying and just doin my training.then kumar came and tell me,he said'u see riswan,he does not cme for training regularly so i dun bother to train him.'cb i heard it,i si bei angry.he bloody dog takes students who alreadi knows how to box and he kao bei say i train them.so i told kumar,cb give one year la.i break his beloved student face,if not i will forget boxing la.wah i realli angry leh.i also got school and other commitments plus suspencion wat.mother fucker.say until so cb.i se bei buay song.talk behind back.one year la one year.u wait.i start all over again!arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!okies i need to coool down.i think i goin back train with coach bala and fuck and i mean FUCK SRI!!!!!!!!!!!!.........

last blog POST PROBABLY

2009-09-06T01:14:00.003+08:00

MY COACH!!!!

THE SECOND HOME FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS FOR ME.F.P.B.G.

well,today i saw someone who was with me thru thick and thin in mi lower sec.i just did not wanna see her until i die but i just dun get it why god like to play prank on me,actualli she did not affect me much for the simple reason i am fucking gone with this crap of liking someone,being together and due to unseen circumstances we gettin seperated.i think i can just live my life as it is.i have all i need.wonderful family friends and mi boxing and mi interest for bikes and car.what else do i need.i just realsied that that the girl i fancy now is never possibel cause she is way too good for me.i was just a guy who used to think carrying knoves and keepin people under u is something very garang.but now its too late.and i guess i am telling all these in blog cause i know you will read it.u may be playful and stuffs,but u deserve someone better.i have mi friends.u will never know who u are for the simple fact i dont wish to loose the choices i have.but come on we know ourselves.there is onli that much we can do.i know deep inside i love u.i always kept u on mi heart.i dunno y its just that.but i swear if i knew i was gona meet u,i will not have been like this.i dun even dare to talk to u sometimes cause i am scared i mite blabber things out.i will always take care of u and any FUCKER who makes u cry will court death.my friends and i promised to change form the nonsencetial life we lived.it will not take me long to take it all back.its not worth anything,but when its about u,its worth fighting.if i am ever goin far in boxing,its my passion plus the memories i had with u.all those will just make me hit the punching bag harder and the intention to kill mi opponent.we can act stupid all the way but u know and i know can alreadi.

why must i ever see u,why must we ever be like this.i regret mi past but i also know that if i am ever gona tell u,i am gonna regret my future.so lets just be strangers.girls are best at acting.when bikes were something i used to go with,i lost everything about it.now being with u is all that mattered....but i cant get the time alreadi cause i think i have to go into boxing back cause i think the thailand dream is the only way to prove.but u will always be there in mi heart.

2 face

2009-09-04T22:22:00.000+08:00

mi life is damn nice this way.i am now 2 person.one someone who finds a soul to settle and the other one is a soul that roams around finding for revenge.i am enjoyin life.its like,boxing,studies,bikes,car lessons,slacking and sleeping.nothing more that i used to do where fear engulfes me.

weeeeeeeeeeets

2009-09-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

it all went well.the tiring plan of makin vanessa birthdae aprty was a sucess.NOW SHE SHE KNOWS WHAT I WAS HIDING FROM HER ALL ALONG.she was realli suprised.that was good.and thanks yuan ling for somehow tagging along cause i did not have anyway of contacting u.thanks alot for remembering:)then the second part of it when most ppl start to leave,the wayang stats and if harvin wasnt there i would have been gone crazy.!!!!!!but it was fun.AND LET ME TELL U THINS THIS IS GONA BE LIKE ONE OF THE LAST FEW TIMES I AM GONA FUCKIN USE BLOGGER.LIVE JOURNAL IS 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 TIMES BETTER.STUPID COOCK.

3 wishes by aladin

2009-09-02T10:32:00.000+08:00

i want to change mi life.if i can ever turn back time,i will turn back to primary 1 where i got mi first caninng.and then primary 3 for gettin caught for forgery and all the others after that.sec 1 she came changed me but now she is ike thousand miles away?and i am still looking foreward to my may16 dream.it was the most beautiful dream ever.it was like i seeing myslef.omg when is that day?idk....and sorry to mum and dad that i was a bad son since young.i gave u all alot of problems but i just wana try eveything in life and live life on the very base cause i do not know what am i gona be born nrxt time?a monkey gorilla bear lizard?i dunno.so i just have these years to experiment everything.i know what i am doin so u all need not worry and my friends are my source of support and confidence.just give me time.i know me and brother were neva good students.we were either outside office or in class getting scoleded.but now brother has suceeded in life.so its all about time.give me my space.when i am done i will start to draft out my life and start to work towards it.AND FUCK U JOHNSON:D

i am attached

2009-09-01T22:55:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAE VANESSA LOW/MI PA

ok.yesterdae was a damn big turning point day for me.went back boxing and did the usuals.then after bags and shadow,coach told me wear the glove u r next.i was like.NO coach mi stamina all drop.he was like NONSHENSE U.u better go in.i was like cb sia.then mi opponent was another guy call anureddin.wah na bei.i fite with him i peng san.then coach say,u all started fiting ah?riswan u cmi.i was like ok.one more time and i imagine him to be XX.then i started to walllop him.he gave me one one mi jaw and i jam there for a while.then he suffered a broken nose.then coach said,u made use of the long break.train hard u can fight like ur peak.i felt like i won olymipic gold medal.....

A OLD PROMISE REVIVED!

2009-08-23T00:31:00.003+08:00

I MOHAMED RISWAN PROMISE TO TRAIN AND GIVE MY BEST SHOT WHEN I AM IN AND OUT OF THE RING AND I WILL TRAIN TO THE BEST OF I CAN AND NOT MATTER WHAT I WILL NOT GO TO THE WRONG WAYS.i am sorry coach i have broken every part of it.u know and i know.i think after the 3rd september i am really gona go back to boxing.coach,u have given me alot of chances.just one more.last one thank u very much.i promise i will pick myself.A PROMISE REVIVED.I HAVE NO MORE WORRIES AND NO MORE SAD FEELINGS.

and at this point of time,i need to thank one person and that is vanessa.this is becasue i can say she is the onli girl i tend to listen to in class and she has helped me alot in me gettin back to boxing.and i once told her that if i ever go professional she will be my manager cause she can perfectli convince me and nag at me.cause when the others(nana,adeline)tell me,they end up getting battered and bruise.She is also the first one(girl)to know my whole life story.and i know pretty much of hers althou not everything.thanks for being a wonderful frien.and i still have a strong feeling i know u long time before.i owe u more than one..:)gtg mitnite outzzzzz

chiku chiku boom boom

2009-08-22T22:31:00.000+08:00

well well.now mi schedule is out!weeeeeeee.no more worries.next year december tournament.must win no matter what.must start now.after the 3rd of sept.100 percent effort and mi parents have allowed me to work.!!!!!nothing much.see the schedule like wah lan eh..must start from scratch cause i have been a slacker too much.time to gon.chiku chiku noom booom!

2009-08-21T22:18:00.000+08:00

Well.wat hurts the most is that we were so close and every small actions of u makes me worry.we had shared happy and sad memories together and we have had many common similarties as well as many differences.i don’t know wat happen but nowdays it is not the same cause we feel separated.i know I have tried and I am still tryin and I will still try all the way.but well sometimes there is such thing we call fate.when mi coach called me and told me about mi boxing,I did not feel much pain cause I rather cherish the moments I had with u.i gave everything up for boxing and I now I chosen u over boxing.i dunno la..maybe I am not courageous as I used to be.i just have one last thing to do before I actually leave from it.but I dunno if I can anot.that is the thing because I loved u a little bit too much even thou I know I cant get u..no one knows this.onli god knows what will happen in the future.i dun care who say what I am goin on wih what I planned.there may be many rumors but let me tell u I fuck care all of them.u r the one that really changed most things.i don’t know if u read mi blog but I am postin this just to make sure.some times the hope is there but well reality just sucks all the time.they play with human life cause hope is the only thing humans hope a bit much more.sometimes I know I cant get u but but I dun care at all. I just like to live in the dreams that I am gona be with u mi whole life.this is like one of the longest post in mi new blog and I am whining.this is not me at all.i used to do anything I wished.but now I think of mi family and mi friends thanks to u.alot of ppl have come and gone but none stole mi heart.i cant be bothered with girls(used to)but after seeing u I think I have changed mi impression.u will never know who u r.u know y?i am in such a suitation.i want to be with u but I dun wanna get married cause I have a phobia after seeing mi brother marriage planning.so much financial plans and so much stress.i just have the phobia.imagine we get married and we cant sustain long due to mi attitude?i am afraid.cause u r someone who deserve someone who loves u more than u love him.and is able to take care of u.althou I can do that,I think we have other issues as well?let me just tell u.i can list more than 10 things that u like.cause every small thing u do leaves a big impact on me.i wished I never met u,got close to u,share anything under the sun.BUT LET ME TELL U.IF THE PRIZE IS U,U R WORTH FIGHTING.NEVER EVER CHANGE FOR SOMEONE.U R THE BEST U R.i just hope boxing will be mi picking up point.it used to cheer me up and I wanted to be the best martial artist in Singapore and train people to go to olymipics.but now I have to do soul searching.when u look me in the eye,I just cannot talk cause I have some shock over u.but let me tell uu.no one and I mean fuckin no one will ever come close to u and harm u.if that happens,that person has to go thru me first.cause no matter what I will always take care of u.cause u r the best the way u are.now u cheer me up in the morning and I enjoy the occasional butterfies flyin in mi stomach when u talk to me.

With all mi loves, u know who I am:D

19 november

2009-08-18T10:36:00.002+08:00

TODAY-last day of school la.si bei sad.and i fought with adeline.a joking jokin one.thats all.
YESTERDAY-WE WERE PLAYING BASTARD BALL YESTERDAY!!!!!!.then adeline and nana wanted to score in order for me to tell the truth to the person.but they so damn damn cock till they cant score at all.how how stupid can they get.haiss.then goin home.i kana 2 messages.nae bei.mi mood switch off totalli sia.i fuckin was so boilin deep inside.then i decided lets go back to mi old life.then cb go home muscle pull.in the end plan must push till this friday.kanina bae.i realli cant believe i recieved two blows at one time.fuckin damn hell.

and after i think alot thru i think its time i should go evn thou everyone knows i cannot.this is because the feeling is so fuckin hard and i know that if i am goin to go on in this way,i am goin on in this way,i am never gonna survive.haisss.i got what i wanted the ever lasting friendship and trust.so i am just gona go on and see hw it goes.thank u all for cheering me on even when u all knew its not possible even in a small way.i can rant and rant and rant cause its a very painful issue.i am afraid.seriousli afraid after seeing mi brother's marriage,i have seen a ultimate fear in relationsip and life long survival.how to convice them at all?i think i shall just be myself in my life and go on.u all will not understand cause u will never feel it until u all have to suffer.maybe the other half is not born or not able to fit with me.given mi attitude,u think i can sustain very long???i just cant be at a place fo long.so lets see how everything i go.i will always remember u.no matter waht

One last dance

2009-08-14T08:33:00.002+08:00

ok a lot has been happening in mi life lately and some are good and some are bad.however it is not up to us to see if it is good or bad.i still have one more reponsibility to do before i move on.its comin soon and i have lots of work to do.its a matter of time the people knows.but i have gone past the stage of caring and concerning about other people feelings.i have one last one.one last dance.to ppl who know what the last dance means may not think it mite be big but to me,it is the biggest.try being like me.3 years of dream went down cause of 5 monthes.how fuck can it get?onli afeeq knows this.all may seem well externally but internally onli i know how much am i being burned each and every day.and i literally mean everyday.boxing is becoming further and further from mi life.maybe cause i found someone and there is no need to vent mi anger of mi previous one?i realli dunno.mi prime time is over.and i dun want it to be over so so fast.its a matter of time on when i will go back.when i go back,i realli will do mi best all the way.i dunno if i can be who am i but i will try

leopard never looses its spots

2009-08-09T22:33:00.004+08:00

OK.I THINK I HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS FOR DAMN LONG BUT NOW I SERIOUSLI THINK THAT I NEED TO RETURN BACK TO BOXING IF NOT I GONA EAT TILL I EXPLODE.lol.hahahhaa.i got feeling i gona close down blog soon leh cause i am not being able to update it regularli.ok.I this may be mi last post for the week?lol.just now went jogging.i was fuckin supirsed at miself to see that mi stamina was there all the way.so happy.then came home conditioning.now suffering from insomnia again.nowdays after the full moon thing since sec 4,i am havin insomina or sleepin disorder.its ironic i know.should i feel happy or sad?i dont know i just want to be there no mtter wat cause ying cant exist alone.it needs yang to be balanced

24

2009-08-08T23:27:00.003+08:00

You tend to keep your emotions in check- your mind rules your heart. You try your best to hold your emotions back, as you don't like to appear vulnerable.You may be moderately successful and have enough energy to last you through the day.You are quite optimistic with a positive attitude to life- you won't let many things get you down. At times, however, you hide your emotions when you are feeling sad or lonely but generally you demonstrate a healthy balance between optimism and pessimism.You have an average ability to concentrate. You often have to force yourself to concentrate on minor details, especially for long periods of time.You are reliable and dependable and appear very outgoing and friendly.**allow a close one to be a shoulder to cry on** Took this test in facebook and this is damn true.sorry for the irregular updates cause i fuckin cannot find time to update mi blog.today went ochard with vanessa meet our frien.then we went to woodlands to watch eugene and stan play soccer and then went back home.thats all.lol.hahahah....and i feel bad for not tellin vanessa the wednesday secret but then.hahahahaha

u tell me its not tryin anymore?hahaha.please mi boy onli i know how far have come.it is a one way road i am in and i am about to get into an accident soon.its just a matter of time where i will fly out of mi vehicle called life and the injuries or fatalities lies on ur decision.whatever it is i am confident mi love is more stronger than ur decision!!!!!!!

2009-08-05T11:15:00.002+08:00

the family who was with me mi whole W16P journey.these ppl made me realise that success is a journey not a destination.I just love every bit of them.they made me realisse things that i never knew i was....love,care,concern,respect among friends was from them.we gona seperate and we heve to accept that we are goin to distsnt from each other.it hurts,just hurts.but well.we will never know.

and i do not know if this is a crush or true love.i hope it is the latter.i savy every moment i have with u.from the point where i go with u to the point i talk to u.i realli dunno.they told me thses moments cannot be brought back.so the onli thing i can do is just to remember it.and stan is reading it before i am publishing it..i just feel that everything u do is nice.i have tried to distance myself from u but we just cant.i dunno if this means anything more.i realli dun wanna miss u and i know u cannot be mine so lets just live in dreams.as u r readin this,u may know who u r.i will always remember u but althou i know i am not fit for u in most ways and u know y and i know y.so lets just ......i am posting this wit the intention of the song if today was your last day.cause it says everyday is a gifted not a taken right and leave no stone unturned.I LOVE U

I AM SORRY FOR BEING A BASTARD.I JUST LOVE U

when i see u smile

2009-07-27T22:28:00.005+08:00

today school as normal.i can never forget today.it was damn nice.onli some knows why.neva go training due to some craps.after school went lot one.ate and then follo them tke tix for ice age then me and vanessa went home.followed her till tiong then i continued mi journey to home.came home and blog.seriousli...................

i think am gettin lost in your eyes.that s the reason i cant see into ur eyes and speak with u.i get hurt eveytime we talk.i duno why.cause is meant to be like that.

CNB

2009-07-27T11:49:00.001+08:00

today i am very happy=)

no more small time

2009-07-26T00:09:00.000+08:00

ok.i just postin this to say that i will be peng-ing over to live journal because most of mi friends are askin me to switch there and blogger is pissin me off.an at 1208am on the 26 july i have decided to have fun with international laws.i bet u all will not understand.local police is boring.lets mess with international ones.

never leave any stone unturned

2009-07-25T15:30:00.002+08:00

friday- nothing much the usual.went out after school to some park then to the carpark where took pics.then send all home and went back to aunts place.no mood at all.never even talk to the kids.sorry guys!!!then eoke up and came home and slept.i was too irritated and angry that i vented it on mi sleep cause for the past few weeks i cant get peaceful sleep.i feel people are tryin to tell me smth in mi dreams cause its the same ppl everytime...

sometimes i wish i never met ppl in W16p for the simple reason that we are gonna be seperated very soon and that is the day i really dread.we became more than friends.well wishers and guardian angels for one another and when we had conflicts with one another,we always knew that we can stand up by them,all those pointless presntations where we will be lyin our way off and those times in admiralty park and the the commando jumps at vanessa house the swings.(by the way i am listening to the song if today was your last day by nickelback as i am typin.)and nana who always fought with me but the end of the day she stayed up with me till 9pm at her place comforsting me and vanessa takin promises from me that i will break away from the bad habits althou she gives me lenientcy eugene for goin out with me and creating troubles and afeeq standing by my side.these ppl realli left an impact on me.thanks vanessa and nana for trustin me and tellin ur personal things even thou i know u all for bareli 3 months?alot of things happen and i am sure that the contact will slowli go down..but nana seriousli i never expected u to react like that when i told u about the thing at the staircase at adeline house and vanessa thanks for reminding me of my boxing and tryin to control me and at the same time giving me my space when i just needed to.u ppl are all great and i think after being with u all i realised alot of things...

seriousli i do not know whtat to do in ur case.u came into mi life and haunted me.u will never know who u are becuase water and oil can never mix but let me tell u i will be there for u when ever u need me bacuase after 3 years,i fell in love and this time i realli am lost and do not know what to do.i will confess to u one day but the day is not anytime soon.this is beacuase friendship and relationship does not mix.friends can be lovers but lover cannot be friends.for the simple reason there mite be the sense of repulsion.you seriousli changed me.i am not who i used to be.........lets hope u r my other half at least let me live in those memories.call me coward i dun care ..u literalli came and swept me off.y must i ever see u in the first place?boxing and bikes were mi source of rotation but now it has been u and i am afraid.those 5 ppl will know why am i worried.thanks for being there the 5 of u all.i will fufil ur wishes.keep it as a promise i make to u.

Formalxzxzxz

2009-07-22T09:04:00.002+08:00

Today i am wearing informally formal...

yesterdae--after school went collect mi provisional driving liscence with vanessa and eugene.then we abit late,this eugene suggested that we cut thru the whole stretch of bush and he said real man will not be scared of all these.so we cut the path.in the end na bei got no way to walk....then managed to go to the driving centre and then collect the whole thing and went back home.....

life is hard and u gotta be harder than it......

2009-07-20T08:05:00.003+08:00

Saturday-went to sentosa for the sports club thing at the morning.i reached 10am on the dot and ugene and adeline also reached about that time.how ever the wonderful president was late by 1 hour.but when she came she profusely apologised.so we were like never mind la.then made our way to palawan.then they wanted to play volley ball so me and eugene went tomplay.the worst ball game sia.we hit the ball abit only the ball fly to malaysia.then we sat down and play game.that was when i found out that they all mi age.Fuck sia they mi age but year 2.......i was shocked.then me eugene adeline left home while i went for the tournament.wah piang eh OHM is gettting better and better every tournament.chee bai and here i am like a slacker.must start training alreadi.but i just cannot find the fire in me alreadi,maybe because i do not think of mi past anymore and it makes me become more habitual into mi new life which is damn slacking?no point sayin but i atill think that mi new life is nicer with new friends and and i do not have to constantli worry about gettin into troubles and do all the nonsense.......

Ranting point(u can leave now,this is where i rant if u all dun wana read please leave)

i don not know waht the fuck is happening to me..i know what i am doin is not rite but mi friends and all have told me dun stop tryin but i realli dunno what to do..i will do all that is rite and i dont care what hte fuck u ppl think!!!

Time to killl!!!!!

2009-07-14T12:08:00.005+08:00

OKAY I GONA BLOG ABOUT ALL THE NICE PEOPLE TODAY........

MARTYN-CARING,HAS BEEN THERE FOR ME,READY TO GIVE HIS LIFE FOR ME.WISH HE WAS MY REAL BROTHER.

STUART-SMART,WITTY,KIND,ANOTHER GUY WHO WILL DO ANYTHING FOR ME.WISH HE WAS MY REAL BROTHER TOO.

MANS-LOUD,DAMN SMART,KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOIN,SHE IS SOMEONE WHOM I KNOW MY SECRETS ARE SAFE WITH.

VANESSA(MY PA)-LITTLE,DEADLY,STRONG WITH WORDS,SUSHI LOVER.THE FASTEST TO GAIN MY TRUST AND TO TAHAN ALL THE TROUBLE I GIVE HER..

RACHEL(MY MODEL)-CHARMING,LITTLE,SMART,MY FIRST FRIEND IN RP..:)

NANA-MAD,RETARDED,HAPPY GO LUCKI,A STRONG GIRL WHO CAN REALLI HIDE HER FEELINGS VERY WELL.

ADELINE-NAGGY,CARING AND GOOD NATURED,EVERYTIME KANA WHACK ONE.

CHRISTINA SIM-NOISY,HAPP,BUBBLY-SHE IS A NOISY PERSON AND SOMEONE WHO IS FUN TO BE WITH.

AJUL-MAT MOTOR,NICE MAT,HAPPY,RESPONSIBLE,HE IS THE ONLY ONE OTHER THAN MANS TO KNOW MY SECRET!!

EUGENE(FELLOW COL)-KAM LAN,HYPER,REALY SOT BRAIN

STAN(FELLOW AMK)-NICE GUY,STRAIT FORWARD,LIKES TO HELP PPL,POOL PRO,A VERY NICE GUY TO BE WITH AS OBVIOUSLI HE IS A FELLOW ANG MO KIO.

4.44am

2009-07-14T00:58:00.002+08:00

okay.now i am feelin way much better.saturday went to meet stuart,sit down talk talk then we bith left for yishun.went for mi cuz engagement talk.then at there, i felt i not mi self.so i ast panandol and i KO the next moment.at 11pm,i went home.sleep till 4am.see mi temperature na bei 40 degree and mi brains was so fcukin painful.cb.then went to tan tock seng.they put injection and put me in drips.3 jabs and 2 bottle of NACL(sodium chloride)(9%)and the doc say that mi body resistance too high so must keep jabbin.but the doc was a nice guy called stanley.then he ask if i smoke so i said no.then he was like oh so u smoke.then i said NO I DONT LA.then he orrh ok.sorry i got hearing problem.lol.thenunder observation.then discharged.and i got 4 days mc.sianxzxzxzxzxzx..........i miss school.
just now i got scolded by martyn and stuart for not tellin this to them but if i tell u guys,u will panic and u all cannot come in and i know what will happen to the security if they dun let u all in.thanks for the concern.u r mi brothers always..i love u all.
And thanks vanessa for tahan-ing mi torture for the past 2 days and replyin mi message whenever i message u!!!!i owe u a big one:D

and W16p-thanks for the concern..y must we come to the same class?now its gettin so hard to seperate.onli we know the bonds we share

finalli alive

2009-07-13T13:05:00.002+08:00

yesterday went to TTSH.cause mi fever hit 39+ degrees.na bei i tot i gona die sia.so hot the whole body.go there the doc give me 2 to 3 injection,then put me in drips.he poke and poke mi hands cause he cant find mi veins.fuxkin pain .imagine tattoo?the same feelin one.wah piang.then abit ok.then the doc say its some lung infection crap..back home..rest and rest till i wana go school.ok.i feel drowsy.i gona sleep again.

37.8 degrees

2009-07-12T00:06:00.002+08:00

OK I AM UTTERLY PISSED WITH MY BODY FOR FALLING SICK.i am damn tired.....internally and externally.like how boxing took me out of mi L.sickness,i am depending on it to take me out again.but this time i know it is hard cause the passion is ther but mi stamina,the love for the punches is all gone.i have to build it.But i will wait for u.one day 2 day a hundred day.i will wait for u here and do anythin.just a call and i will be there.

i guess i am movin along that line.and nowdays this blog is all abt u........... i will be strong cause mi old life is how i used to love.FTW

live life as how love shall be in this quantam of heaven

2009-07-11T00:40:00.003+08:00

today-was happenin day.went school late.and i mean late.so the faci wanted to help us and put we absent so we will not get minus marks.after test,went to causeway eat then follo ugene home change and stuff while me and vanessa waitin under the block.then we went to raffles.vanessa bought her head band finally...hahahahah.I will say that she not that very jialat knid of shopper that realli spend 2 to 3 hrs in a shop.ll.then to bugis village:(she bought her stuffs and thanks to her i kno after i take mi car(mi dad's one)i know where to buy all the car stuffs.then she force me and eugene to buy something.we went to this shop then she saw this shirt which was damn fuckin funny"johnny walkED"if u understand......then walk walk,went to buy a hand band for me.then i dunno whcih one.she help me choose then i just buy onli.loll.impulse spending.then train home.now to sleep.adios

My life has become a movie man.....like raj said minnale.....i never realli fell for any girls.i did more than all the nonsense that average teenager will do.i never feared for rules and i never cared about any girls.But all these was until u came into mi life.i feel i am being softspoken,unable to even have eye contact with u and everytime u tell me things,i drown in ur eyes.wat happen to the old me?i want him back but i cant.and this things u know very well i do not play with.i am tryin to change but i am afraid,u will just not accept me cause i wasn never a good guy in this entire 18 years of mi life.i have spent these 18 years by lyin,cheatin,fighting,qurelling and and all but i feel that if i saw u earlier,i would not have been like this but its just that u came a bit too late.and yes i am scared onli to fall in love cause it is more painful than getting stabbed in the back or shot by a gun...........today,s anger venting zone

sian of schooling soon!!!!!

2009-07-09T08:31:00.002+08:00

blogging from school now.ahaha.school has been tiring nowdays.Wanted to schow school today but......lol.yesterdae went to eat at banquet and then study nth much,otw home,i saw this damn damn damn little and naughty kid.he was so cut sia.he keep playin with mi ipod and changing mi song,hahahahahah.so cute sia.then went home and sleep.and here i am in school.thats is all:D

3 Brothers promise Broken Shattered

2009-07-08T11:08:00.003+08:00

Ok.todae's post is rather a long one and a memorial one.This is dedicated to the "brother"who failed to change...
It was in primary 5 when i changed school was changed to anderson primary school.First day of school,i went to the class.All were talkin with their friends.Onli i was quiet.Then 2 guys came to me and started to talk.Ricky and manoj.At first they were just normal classmates.But soon we began to be more than friends.we started to hang out together.Soon the name of our 3 rose.Alot of teachers told me that i was under probation as i just changed school.but all i cared was to enjoy with them.We had our own wrestling card business where all the students will come and buy from us.Nobody beat our business.We soon became a prominent person in the school record book.we sold handphones an support our LEpAK association.We did eveything and anything.So when we became P6,we bacame more notorious.We started to be known by all the students.Even if we do not know them.We felt proud back then.Then came PSLE time.we all promised to study properly.we did.We made a brotherhood promise.no matter what happens to us.we will meet up and share the bond and we will change our life style and be good.Then we all seperated to our secondary school...then gangs girlfriends this and that all came into lifes.but we stood still.then one by one all lost contact.then i reiceved call yesterdae sayin one brother has been jailed.I was broken.A promise broken sia.!!!!!and the other one is in th same poly as rp but he dont even reconise me.HAIZZ......all the brotherhood and this stuffs is not real in this real life.friends come and go.we need to get a hold and not fall and be beware of all dangers.

2009-07-06T08:53:00.004+08:00

People were askin me how honda sp was lookin like!!!!people the pic above is honda sp..This may look like a old bike but this bike can touch 24okm/hr...this was the first bike i fell in love at the age of primary 5.this bike will be parked opposite mi school where me and mi friends will go and see the bike everyday after school!!!!!!!!!but now this this paintwork bike is very rare cause more and more bike accidents.I think singapore should create a new lane just for bikes.this will reduce bike accident rates!na bei.i dont know why singapore cant think of such nice ideas.Afterall bike ppl also pay COE and road tax rite.so we deserve our own rights to havin a safe rides..

Day 3 of celebrations

2009-07-05T18:42:00.002+08:00

Ysterdae-left mi house at 4.30,met snail(rui kai) and bus down to hougang under bomber(raj) block and waited for martyn to come then we took 80.went some places then we decided to split.Stuart die die wanted to bring me to a place.He did not want to tell me.When we(benard,Rui kai) went there i got a shock of mi life.the place that he brought me to was the one at istana one.i told him once,once i turn 18 we will go there casuse its so nice and he remembered it....OMG!sat there and we talked till we happy sia and we keep askin for more and more nuts.hahahhahhha.then i know stuart's life and he knows mine so it was just running in our heads and talkin abt secondary school stories and stufffs.then we just look up the sky and enjoyed the view.for some reason i saw **** face in the moon.i was there staring at it.WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME.why did i even turn out to be like this?i was enjoyin mi life and stuffs but well deep down i am bleeding everyday.and i literally mean everyday....then went to tasha place.then we cut cake and was there for a while.then me stuart,shawn mattew and RK chow.then went mac.then about 3 am,me mattew,raj,Rk was under some block and eunos came.he came and the first thing he told mewas to test ride his bike.!wah piang eh i felt so damn happy.cause usually older riders will not trust younger rider and the best part is i dont even have a liscence.hahhahah.then i rode his bike for a while.and for a sp his bike was a solid one expt he has to change carbon pipe.other that that sweeeeee.then relacked all the way.goin back home time raj tried how to ride and he was scared abit?hahah.then eunos lost balance and fell.cb by the time carry the bike,we all died.then i checked for leakage and then we tot its better to break the day cuase eunos was tired from exhaustion.then came back home.sleep 4hrs mum wake up ask her follow to plaza with brother to eat.then comin back is when i wished i never onpen mi mouth.I saw this honda sp and i told her,that is the bike i wana buy and she was like since i sponcering u car no bike.if got bike then no car.wahhh!mi brain sot alradi.i came home and sleep onli.Y cant ppl just understand bike is like a car.People fucking die when they cross the road also wat,does that mean u r not gona cross road.dont tell me that the car accident rate is 0%.no rite.and eversince mi sec 2 incident,ikes has been mi girlfriend.they are so nice and they make mi mood happy.i just wish people can stop being such a sterotype.ok i am angry and before i start to scold, i think its beeter for me to sign out.......

I am gifted.DAMN GIFTED AND I MEAN IT.

2009-07-04T11:02:00.002+08:00

ok.i realli used to think god was against me in whatever i do and he has created me and just forgot me.But starting 2009,everything is falling back into pieces for me.i got into poly and all.but the thing that god has given me a lots is friends.They are so much important to me.If u r close to me,u will know it.Friends around me has led me to both good and bad ways.Bad ways has been mended long time ago.i have learnt about friendship,love,trust and all from them...I was damn touched yesterday the way mi class did things for mi birthdae.

Yesterday morning woke up went strait to ssdc.Enroll for car.need to go soon for bike enrollment.then otw to school.Knn on the way all call me say no thermometer cant go in.So the entire bus journey i was thinkin of rp's loophole.so i went to admiralty park,climb the mountain(hehe)then run to W2 staircase.climb 3 stories up and ran to W1,ran up 1 more stoey,went to 4th level take lift! When i came out,vanessa,drag me and run and i was like who chasing u sia.then harvin told me to go toilet so i just follo him and and then when we went to class,OMG and i mean OMG!they turn the whole class into a party area man!i was so touched man.!they came at 7.30 to do all the decorations.then presents were given and nana adeline and vanessa gave me a purple color care bear.haha.then luch they orded pizza and they sing birthdae song again!put the candles in the pizza.hahahaha.then faci came in and say no thermometer must leave,so i was so happy that me ugene and akmal left.went to play arcade till all came.then move out to sentosa!go there to palawan beach.play water then nana push into the water and the best part is i got no clothes to change.hahaha.then all went to take the bus at sentosa.I was makin fun of the tour guide.then the next bus stop,another group of malay guys came in.and nana and others told them today(yesteray)was mi birthday and they started to sing!wah piang.the bus uncle face like anytime kick us out one.then at habourfront,me vanessa and darrick take cab.sent vanessa home and off we went home.

Thanks for the wishes:Stuart,martyn,raj,cheryl,vanessa,nana,eugene,stan,darrick,akmal,afeeq,ajul,shiela and all the others:D

thanks first AC divison for celebrating mi birthdae.I think i am the luckiest!!!!!

Pevious birthdae Celebration reminder:2008-The whole School sang happy birthday in the parade square when it is supposed to be prayers.
:2007-Went to east coast after school and play till late!

God showers me with the love of friends.i love u all! and i mean it.time for me to change and be a good person.

Maybe 170207 is...................

simplicity is the best medicine

2009-07-02T21:41:00.003+08:00

Today went to school as usual:)then after tat went to breeks.then i went down to draw money.When i came up, i saw a cake.Mi classmates bought a mini cup cake for me and put it there.So Sweeeeet.then went to arcade,play play.then got someone disturb vanessa.then..........hahahahaha.Seriousli i scared to go school tomoro.they are planning to kill me!!!!!i will blog more with the pictures.

Cheryl Anne :D

2009-07-01T22:40:00.007+08:00

I am gona blog about this girl i miss so much.Her name is cheryl.I saw her like 1 year ago?but she is someone who is matured for her age and she is one of the girls who i was and am close to still.Althou i cant see her frequentli,we know that both of us are constantly thinking of each other.]

And damn hell of all times now i cannot get her photo in this blog.Will post tomoro.

Ok.today went ecp.play water then back home.sounds childish?just shut up cause i have like 48 hours to enjoy as a kid b4 i turn 18.haissss.i am feelin like apek sia!
otw person X call me say got prob.i wanted to help but mi conscience kept buggin me.Maybe i have seem to have chnaged.i realise what is fear and i have started to think of the consequences.

why did u even come into mi life?we had to meet and share everything and there we go"POOF"

WAH LAO EH`

2009-06-29T23:53:00.002+08:00

i seriously have a problem that no one can solve leh!!!!i am gettint he feeling more and more.And the more i am feelin wierd.I am not myelf.I know.the feelin is so damn pissin off.i feel that i will muredr ppl soon jsut bacuse they look at u.na bei.u know how heart pain it can get?i was damn happy leh.This has to happen.All i can say is if there is anyone who is comin into our friendship cb he die.i dun care he ur bf/gf/mother/father/auncle/aunty.i think the reason for me being like this is u.the onli thing that won u in mi immediate life was boxing but now even it has been placed second.ni na bei!!!!!can someone understand mi feeling anot............haiss

ALT F4

2009-06-28T23:27:00.002+08:00

Finally came bcak home after like 4 days in mi cuz house.Borrowed tonnes of books from the library.All the books i ever needed.Tomoro will be meetin at bishan and then study.hahaha..thats all.

i cant believ this happen to me.i tot i will neva fall into the trap.But wat the hell i am fallin into it.I tried to tell miself that all these can never happen but matters of the heart cant be explained
i really think i have to damn hell stop this thinking before i become like a living zombie.My life ia all right and i feel that i am now cursing miself.this cant be happening.i wish we never met,never talk,never got close and never shared all the things.................

MICHAEL Jackson

2009-06-27T23:37:00.003+08:00

Welll...school has been damn quarantined for the past few days and it never gets any worse.On thursday,was off to study at vanessa house.More rather of playin than i studied.then we all took train then went our ways.Eugene and adeline were sleepin in the train went i went down.Then yesterday was stuart shalet went there for a while and came back home.Whole day rotting at home.....I realli miss school.

i just want the school to repopen!!!!!!!!!!!

BASIC THEORY

2009-06-22T22:07:00.002+08:00

ok before i tell about today,all mi blog post title are based on the first thing i see when i come to this screen.......

today-was nice cause violet chan lesson.Other than that nothing,bcause mi PA neva come school.get well soon vanessa......and martyn i realli have confident what u r thinking will happen cause u r a damn nice guy.And i went to buy the advanced theory book today.WAHLAO EH.evn mi o levels i never see so mani diagrams and rules.if i realli pass mi driving liscence ah,it means i can study cause the books itself pisses me off.haiyoooooo.i can get to steal mi dad car soon.:)

HAPPINESS IS HERE WITH 18

2009-06-22T00:33:00.002+08:00

OK.i am soo happy that i cant even sleep now.About 3 hours ago,mi mum told me that she and mi dad will be sponsering me for mi car lisence.i was so shocked becuase mi intentions was to actually take it on the quiet side with my money but fortunately i am sponsered,.u know how it feels?but the thing is mi mum told me i am not to take bike liscence.when she told me that i protested and i nearly teared sia.i kno it sounds childish but i have the reasons for loving bike so so much.then i managed to persue to to adjourn the case.which means the verdict will be out when mi dad returns from overseas.Even they dun allow,i am takin it.i feel damn bastard but this is one dream i am not gona give up even mi wife threathens me with a fucking divorce cause its family friends and bikes then girls:)i kno i am being a self centred faggot here.hahahahahh.imagine me in mi dad's car.whooooooooooo.....and now i am gettin car liscence,i can save all mi money on bike.here i come super 4 and then hayabusa!!!!!!!!and i cant wait for 4th july to go there:)

i have lost in the war between me and u.i tot that everything is possible but i guess no.some things are never possible.but i think that even if we end up tght,we will not have our current happiness cause afterall mi way of thinking is too fucked for u.there is always a person.waiting........

my qoutes...

when the going gets tough,only the tough gets going.
life is like a ferris wheel.it has its point of ups and down.
life is like a manual car.u need the right amount of gas to make it move.any lesser,it will stall.
life is like a motorcycle.a good transport but a bad way of sucess.
life is like a egg.looks hard on the outside,soft on the inside.
life is like a shaver.it makes u look good and also scars you if too much force is added to it.

social networkin online............

2009-06-19T08:36:00.002+08:00

i apologize for the long break and for not blogging.i cant possibly remember everything wat i did.Some moments were like like i went to esplanade with stuart and prinesh.the view was so nice man.and we have planned to go to the restaurant there on mi birthdae.....althou u must be 18.hahahaha.Another 14 more days.then i am gona zoom of in a bike and a car:)I am damn tired now mannnn.i just wish the 14 days will come first.....then yesterday we went to the causeway point banquet and eat dinner and saw mi last time frien.And the nana eat so long ah her lunch can be like a dinner and even supper sia.

An the most memorable moment is the bbq manzzzz.

all went well in the bbq no one complained anything about it and all said it was well done and planned.will post pics soon.

AUTHOR IS HAVING SOME TOUBLES.WILL BLOG SOON

2009-06-14T01:53:00.001+08:00

whats with this world.....

2009-06-12T00:28:00.002+08:00

YESTERDAY-went to ss to buy thing for bbq then went to vanessa hse.then take pics and stuffs.then we went down to relack.then some things happen.....then go play pool.vanessa freind came along.then met akmal at the bus stop then go play.Eugene was damn funny sia,he langa here and there.but poor thing his knee injured.then play till we tear.cause damn funny players.then nth.all go home.nites.sorry for this ultra fuck post

LIFE IS A STAGE AND ALL OF US ARE ACTORS...

2009-06-07T15:50:00.003+08:00

I COULD NOT BLOCK FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS DUE TO WORK STRESS AND OTHER ISSUES.

Friday-Me,Vanessa,Eugene,Adeline,Akmal and darrick met up after vanessa camp and go eat at woodlands.After eat,we had to make a big decision.And i had really vanessa to thank me cause she was like pulling me away and saying DUN!!!REMEMBER YOU HAVE A TOURNAMENT COMIN UP!!!!.then al of us walked to admiralty park and talk cock.ten all dismissed and all went back home.

Yesterday-work at northview sec.Then went over to tasha place.And viola i have gotten wat i need to know about me and stuarts secrets.I am sure more will be uncovered.

Today-Stay home and decay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE EXPLORING GANG
me.adeline.vanessa.eugene

THE COMMANDERS AND THE PA'S

NOW I ONLY LIVE WITH THE MEMORIES OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED AND ONLI TIME WILL HEAL THE MISUNDERSTANDING.TELL ME SINCERELY.DO YOU BELIEVE IT??

As of yesterday.....

2009-06-05T00:08:00.002+08:00

just bear with me.my last whining post.today i kana another big blow.smth which i cant accept.never mind.i am gonna chnage everything.mi msn to mi hp no.and onli those close to me will get it.cause i am not used to these things.................

I need to get this off my chest now.

2009-06-04T10:14:00.002+08:00

ok.there are somethings goin on in my life which was totally unexpected.I really did not know this will happen.Its like the first time and i can feel i am surrounded by liars(expt school ones and some others),i am sayin liars because i am being kept in the dark all thiese while and if stuart did not help me out,i will be probably getting into deeper crap.i dun know wats so scary abt expressing the truth.And now everything is changing is it for the better?i realli dun know because love and friendship is like oil and water.lovers will expect all the love from you and your friends will expect you to be with them all the way.Ok.i a just goin on because i just dun like it sometimes.In life we have to make decisions but this kind of decisions are very hard.Trust me.And mi best friend is putting his life for me and i mean his life.If we are discovered,he will get one big time.Maybe if i had not seen anyone all these will not happen.I am damn pissed with the fact that u can go on and on when the attention is not realli there.After all change is the only unchanged.Only he knows now.And i trust mi best friend with mi life.after all we had been thin and thick together.if you are trying to make me feel wierd,try your best.cause i can read ppl well.mi feeling sense is always rite.Seriously u changed mi way of life.Girls will be girls la somehow.

A quote from stuart=guys make decision on logic.
girls make decisons on emotion.

i just cant digest the fact that all these has hapenned.heart realli pain man...and i the one stuck behind or is it the world thats moving in front of me???

I am confused(as usual)

2009-06-02T23:57:00.002+08:00

i have a big problem now.I love bikes to the point where bikes come first then its girlfriend.But now i suddenli start to think that i mite take car liscence first then i shall ride a bike.this is because of some problems i had due to bikes.I still have the passion for bikes but its just that the problems have made me think twice.Cars may be nice but expensive and i cant always drive my dad's one.he has to also go work and if i am to do anything i will have to seek his permission but for bike,its mine.I really dont know.I have beeen changing a lot.I am scared seriously i am not used to be who i am.And i have started to feel fear after the incident.There is someone above us all.Gone were the time where i will say die die ones la.now its like think before you do.AND ONE LAST THING,IF I EVER FIND OUT THAT YOU LIKE ME.YOU WILL BE FUCKED INSIDE UPSIDE DOWN.NOT BECAUSE U LIKE ME BUT BECAUSE YOU DID NOT TELL ME EARLIER!!!!!NOW IF YOU THINK YOU HATE MY POST.THEN FUCK OFF.I AM LIKE IN A SUDDEN MOOD CHANGE.DONT TRY ME!!!!!!!!I WILL BREAK IT YOU BEND ME TOO MUCH.

I AM THE AMBASSODOR FOR RACHEL NOW

2009-06-01T21:30:00.004+08:00

I MISS BOXING SOO MUCH!!SEE THE PIC SO NICE>HAIZZZZZZZ

HELLO.DAMN TIRED FOR THE THE DAY.Just came back frm camp.wahhh.students now days are pests.By the time i teach them how to shoot,i felt like taking the gun and shoot myself.Thousand and one questions.Lucki i was in army uniform if not one nice middle finger would just do the job.lol.hahahha.finished.met mich and stuart.then went to wet market steal the styrofoam box and cab back home.Then using com.and i was goin thru rachel blog and omg her blog ictures she damn pretty.last time also she pretty but now the camera effects and all macham like miss Singapore sia.And she looks nice on long hair.And i have been given permission to be her ambassoador.I tell you ah when she comes out on teenage mag u all better buy.If not u all die!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol.hahahahahha,if u all think who is she,this is her:)

PUNISHMENTS ARE ALSO REWARD.BUT SOMETHING YOU DONT NEED!!!

2009-05-30T15:43:00.003+08:00

YESTERDAY-went school late.nowdays i go school macham like my fathers school like that.go in late and the best part is no recording is done.then study in classs.the aths faci shouted at us cause all of us ticked her off.then after school we went causeway point.eat then back to rp\admiralty park.walk into the jungle path.akmal was the funniest.lol.hhahahahh.then sit down relaxx and off we went home.thats all.I AM SORRY VANESSA!!!:)THATS ALLL FOLKSS.

Finally i am relieved!!!!!

2009-05-24T22:36:00.003+08:00

i super dooper love this place.Labrodor park!!!this place changed my life!!!!!!!

went to cusins hse today.a lot of wayang happen.then home and aunty came home.chat chat and they left.That is all.soory for the ultra light post!!!!

Picture times!!!!!!!!

2009-05-23T20:07:00.005+08:00

yesterday-Damn Unlucky and funny day for every one.Started off normal.

After school, we had mission impossible.

Alpha company-me,vanessa,eugene,ajul and akmal

Bravo company-Stan,adeline,Feeq Faz and nana

Enemy-Classified.

After that nonsense,we went to sit down at pizza hut.drink and soup came.suddenli they all came and said we must evacuate cause got fire in causeway point.wahlao.then train to lot 1 the pizza hut.Then this eugene wanted to sabo me so he put the grated cheese and open the cap so when i piu ah the whole thing will topple but ajul took the cheese first then eugene mad e expressions not to do it but ajul just shake one hard time and the whole soup was filled filled with cheese.then played with the chicken balls O.o..........then all headed home.then we did some cia work about a ticko.lol.in the end we close the case.

Officers in charge was-me,eygene,vanessa,darrick,akmal,adeline.

The whole gang

MAD KIDDOS

Iron man

mi tattoo and afeeq tattoo at the back

NICE???????????

The w16p gang.Fear us people

Me and nana.See mi whole arm tattoo:)

Eugene,Me and Stan!!!!!Don play with us

Eugene's cheeeeeeeeeesy soup

initially i was takin picture to take picture of mi hand tattoo but in the end become cam whorin for the whole class.

OK.LISTEN UP GOOD AND HARD!!!!!!

I AM NOT A BAD PERSON AND I NEVER WAS.IT IS JUST THAT I WAS WITH BAD FRIENDS OK.SO STOP FUCKING THINKING AND I MEAN REALLY STOP FUCKING THINKING I AM A BENG OR GANGSTER.I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY IT.I KNOW I HAVE NEVER HARMED ANYONE FOR MY OWN PLEASURES.I AM TOTALLY CHANGED AND I HAVE AND I AM LEADING A BETTER LIFE WITHOUT YOU ALL.SO STOP FUCKING AROUND.IF I HAVE TO REMIVE U ALL.I WILL I SWEAR.SERIOUSLI DUN FUCK AROUND WITH ME ANYMORE.......

I AM SORRY FOR THOSE PPL I JUST KNEW.THIS IS MEANT TO SOME OTHERS. SO A BIT OF HARSH WORDS WERE USED.

Serious Post

2009-05-21T23:27:00.003+08:00

Morning went skool late but with a valid reason.Go in and do the problem of the day.Then during break,we went for some crime talk and guess wat!!!!!!!!Mr gomez was there.The guy who told us his life story like when mi class wnet for prison visit when we were sec 2.And the w16p were sayin that it was mine and stan future.LOL.then go do presentation.Prepare a D.cause i never do properly and somemore the theory my friend harvin said was wrong.First time sia.aiyooooooo.

after skool we did some mission impossible then all chiong eugene house to study then home

I miss mi secondary skool!!!!!!!!!!

DNT CLASS.17TH HEART FAILURE

ME AND KALAI KANNA SENT OUT FOR NOT DOING WORK(ENGLISH)

NORMAL PEACEFUL 5N3

THE TENSED CLASS WHEN WE NEVER DO WORK

AFTER PE.ALL IRRITATED.LOOK AT ALBERT SON(LEFT)

secondary skool pictures:)

I hate Blackcurrent milk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-20T08:42:00.003+08:00

vannny,fazzy,wanny

vanny,shiely,fazzy

hellos.Yesterday went toskool late.go study and stuffs.then after skool went to eugene house to study till late.Damn funny sia.we played arnd and studied after that.:)

peektur timesss