realli its time....

too tired to blog nowdays.have been coughing my lungs out.everyone has been asking me why have i changed so much and all when i dont feel anything.at least i pretend not to knoe.i am living in dreams and whenever ppl ask me to wake up i say no.i do not want to wake up.everything is being a routine.2 weeks school holidays.lucki there is sports camp and then i am workin all the way.no rest.i do not wana rest.i just wana tire myself,exhaust and then be too tired to think.driving has been a irritating thing where test is concerned.has talked to the owner for buying bike.but was thinking of changing bike cause will definately take outt a bigger bike when i get my class 2?so now have to save money.then putting aside for car also.planning for swift.but dunno.told coach i do not wana be part of security crew in YOG anymore.withdraw my name.too much of a hazzle for the trainings with police and all.....training has been goin fine.coach told me that if i cant be myself then no point comin back cause i have softened...i think after dec tournament will give up boxing.....how long am i goin to be involved in high contact sports...?given the nonsense i think its best i leave it.gotta study properly....trying to switch my life to an 19 years old poly student.never gona get involved in chit like i did cause i realised thats wat that made me into this state.thanks god...