chiku chiku boom boom

well well.now mi schedule is out!weeeeeeee.no more worries.next year december tournament.must win no matter what.must start now.after the 3rd of sept.100 percent effort and mi parents have allowed me to work.!!!!!nothing much.see the schedule like wah lan eh..must start from scratch cause i have been a slacker too much.time to gon.chiku chiku noom booom!

Well.wat hurts the most is that we were so close and every small actions of u makes me worry.we had shared happy and sad memories together and we have had many common similarties as well as many differences.i don’t know wat happen but nowdays it is not the same cause we feel separated.i know I have tried and I am still tryin and I will still try all the way.but well sometimes there is such thing we call fate.when mi coach called me and told me about mi boxing,I did not feel much pain cause I rather cherish the moments I had with u.i gave everything up for boxing and I now I chosen u over boxing.i dunno la..maybe I am not courageous as I used to be.i just have one last thing to do before I actually leave from it.but I dunno if I can anot.that is the thing because I loved u a little bit too much even thou I know I cant get u..no one knows this.onli god knows what will happen in the future.i dun care who say what I am goin on wih what I planned.there may be many rumors but let me tell u I fuck care all of them.u r the one that really changed most things.i don’t know if u read mi blog but I am postin this just to make sure.some times the hope is there but well reality just sucks all the time.they play with human life cause hope is the only thing humans hope a bit much more.sometimes I know I cant get u but but I dun care at all. I just like to live in the dreams that I am gona be with u mi whole life.this is like one of the longest post in mi new blog and I am whining.this is not me at all.i used to do anything I wished.but now I think of mi family and mi friends thanks to u.alot of ppl have come and gone but none stole mi heart.i cant be bothered with girls(used to)but after seeing u I think I have changed mi impression.u will never know who u r.u know y?i am in such a suitation.i want to be with u but I dun wanna get married cause I have a phobia after seeing mi brother marriage planning.so much financial plans and so much stress.i just have the phobia.imagine we get married and we cant sustain long due to mi attitude?i am afraid.cause u r someone who deserve someone who loves u more than u love him.and is able to take care of u.althou I can do that,I think we have other issues as well?let me just tell u.i can list more than 10 things that u like.cause every small thing u do leaves a big impact on me.i wished I never met u,got close to u,share anything under the sun.BUT LET ME TELL U.IF THE PRIZE IS U,U R WORTH FIGHTING.NEVER EVER CHANGE FOR SOMEONE.U R THE BEST U R.i just hope boxing will be mi picking up point.it used to cheer me up and I wanted to be the best martial artist in Singapore and train people to go to olymipics.but now I have to do soul searching.when u look me in the eye,I just cannot talk cause I have some shock over u.but let me tell uu.no one and I mean fuckin no one will ever come close to u and harm u.if that happens,that person has to go thru me first.cause no matter what I will always take care of u.cause u r the best the way u are.now u cheer me up in the morning and I enjoy the occasional butterfies flyin in mi stomach when u talk to me.

With all mi loves, u know who I am:D

19 november

TODAY-last day of school la.si bei sad.and i fought with adeline.a joking jokin one.thats all.
YESTERDAY-WE WERE PLAYING BASTARD BALL YESTERDAY!!!!!!.then adeline and nana wanted to score in order for me to tell the truth to the person.but they so damn damn cock till they cant score at all.how how stupid can they get.haiss.then goin home.i kana 2 messages.nae bei.mi mood switch off totalli sia.i fuckin was so boilin deep inside.then i decided lets go back to mi old life.then cb go home muscle pull.in the end plan must push till this friday.kanina bae.i realli cant believe i recieved two blows at one time.fuckin damn hell.


and after i think alot thru i think its time i should go evn thou everyone knows i cannot.this is because the feeling is so fuckin hard and i know that if i am goin to go on in this way,i am goin on in this way,i am never gonna survive.haisss.i got what i wanted the ever lasting friendship and trust.so i am just gona go on and see hw it goes.thank u all for cheering me on even when u all knew its not possible even in a small way.i can rant and rant and rant cause its a very painful issue.i am afraid.seriousli afraid after seeing mi brother's marriage,i have seen a ultimate fear in relationsip and life long survival.how to convice them at all?i think i shall just be myself in my life and go on.u all will not understand cause u will never feel it until u all have to suffer.maybe the other half is not born or not able to fit with me.given mi attitude,u think i can sustain very long???i just cant be at a place fo long.so lets see how everything i go.i will always remember u.no matter waht